Subjunctive KoL: AdventureSpoiler

To see a concise summary of monster powers, check out AreaDifficulty.

This spoiler contains a list of all of the possible adventures in a location, along with the results for each possible outcome. A few notes:

• "XP" means the number of stat points you get from killing a monster. These are randomly distributed among the three main stats, with, on average, half going to your primary stat and 1/4 going to each of your secondaries, according to Jick. If a fractional value is listed, say 21.25 XP, then that means 3/4 of the time you will get 21 XP and 1/4 of the time you will get 22 XP. The exception is values less than 1 -- these will always give 1 XP.
• Important note: With NS-13, XP was changed from monster power/5 to power/4. Values which have not yet been updated are indicated in [brackets]. If a value is in brackets, you can multiply by 1.25 to get the right answer.
• Hit points for a given monster can vary by about ± 5% from their nominal value. Note also that the HP readings you get from the detective skull (or clockwork detective skull) are only accurate to within about 5 HP. For many monsters, I have tested the range of variation and it is listed in the chart (e.g. 90 ± 4).
• The objects listed for monster drops are usually not guaranteed. It used to be that any one monster could only drop a maximum of three objects at one time, but this restriction has been lifted.
• Meat drops appear to always be evenly distributed around a range from 80% of the average to 120% of the average (thus, the maximum meat will be 1.5 times the minimum meat). I haven't always observed the full range, so the reported range may be smaller.
• When given a choice adventure and one of the options is "do nothing" (e.g. the Wheel in the Castle, the sex-change booth, or the axe exchange in the Palindome), choosing that option will not take up an adventure.
• If an adventure is marked with an asterisk, it does not occur if you have the object that you get from it. The Colossal Closet, the clan stash, and other players do not count for the purpose of this limit.
• Certain Quest items will drop only in limited amounts -- that is, if you only need one to complete a quest, you will never receive more than one. This is noted in brackets.
• ONCE ONLY denotes an adventure that only appears once (per Ascension). UNTIL DEFEATED notes a monster that you can only defeat once (per Ascension), though you can fight it as many times as you want as long as you don't win.
• (A) denotes an adventure whose content changes across Ascensions (alternating between two different versions with each Ascension). These changes are only cosmetic (though amusing) and do not affect the outcome of the adventure.
• (E) denotes an adventure or monster which only appears if you have completed an even number of Ascensions (including zero), while (O) denotes an adventure or monster which only appears if you have completed an odd number of Ascensions.
• (P) denotes an item which can only be obtained by pickpocketing, and which does not drop normally at the end of combat.
• (SR) denotes a semi-rare adventure.
• (T) denotes an item or adventure which is available only if your character has the Ascension skill of Torso Awaregness.
• (Tu) denotes a turtle which can only be found if your character is wearing turtle pheromones. These encounters do not consume an Adventure.
• Ascension areas are listed at the bottom of the page, since they are not always accessible.

To see the requirements for adventuring in a certain area, see AreaRequirements. See also RetiredAdventures for information on adventures which no longer appear in the Kingdom.

Note: Nearly all of the monsters here have been updated since Ascension, so they should be completely accurate. The exception are a few of the boss monsters, which I'm still working on (obviously they're more difficult to get a lot of data points on). If you notice any inaccuracies, please let me know. Thanks also to Nikademus for his help with monster XP values.

Quick jump to:	The Barrel Full of Barrels	The Bat Hole	The Black Forest	The Bounty Hunter Hunter's Shack	The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky
Cobb's Knob	The Cola Wars Battlefield	The Copse of the Deep Fat Friars	The Daily Dungeon	The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave	The Defiled Cyrpt
Degrassi Knoll	Drunken Stupor	The Dungeons of Doom	The Enormous Greater-Than Sign	The eXtreme Slope	Fernswarthy's Tower
The "Fun" House	The Goatlet	The Haiku Dungeon	The Haunted Pantry	The Hidden Temple	The Hippy Camp
The Hole in the Sky	The Icy Peak	An Incredibly Strange Place	The Inexplicable Door / 8-Bit Realm	Itznotyerzitz Mine	The Lair of the Naughty Sorceress
Lair of the Ninja Snowmen	The Limerick Dungeon	The Misspelled Cemetary	Mt. Noob	An Oasis	The Obligatory Pirate's Cove
The Orcish Frat House	The Palindome	The Penultimate Fantasy Airship	The Road to the White Citadel	The Sewer	The Shore, Inc. Travel Agency
The Sleazy Back Alley	South of the Border	The Spectral Pickle Factory	The Spooky Forest	Spookyraven Manor	St. Sneaky Pete's Day Stupor
The Thatched-Roof Casino	The Typical Tavern	The Valley Beyond the Orc Chasm	Whitey's Grove	Zoneless Monsters	The Bugbear Pens
The Spooky Gravy Barrow	Outskirts of Camp Logging Camp	Camp Logging Camp	Thugnderdome

The Barrel Full of Barrels

The Barrel Full of Barrels has been revamped to make it more interesting. In the Barrel, there are 36 individual barrels, which you can smash individually. Once you have smashed a barrel, it will reappear at rollover.

Each 2x2 block of barrels (you can think of the arrangement as nine 2x2 blocks) will contain items from the same category, and each category of items will appear exactly once. The nine categories of items are:

• (1) weak stat boosters (strongness elixir, magicalness-in-a-can, moxie weed)
• (2) medium stat boosters (enchanted barbell, concentrated magicalness pill, giant moxie weed)
• (3) strong stat boosters (extra-strength strongness elixir, jug-o-magicalness, suntan lotion of moxiousness)
• (4) weak HP/MP restorers (Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment, soda water)
• (5) medium HP/MP restorers (Cherry Cloaca Cola, Diet Cloaca Cola, Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm, Knob Goblin seltzer, Regular Cloaca Cola)
• (6) strong HP/MP restorers (Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir, Knob Goblin superseltzer)
• (7) 1-drunkenness fermented drinks (fine wine, shot of grapefruit schnapps, shot of orange schnapps, shot of tomato schnapps)
• (8) drink ingredients (bottle of gin, bottle of rum, bottle of tequila, bottle of vodka, bottle of whiskey, boxed wine)
• (9) 3-drunkenness mixed drinks (bloody mary, margarita, martini, monkey wrench, redrum, rum and cola, salty dog, screwdriver, strawberry daiquiri, strawberry wine, tequila sunrise, vodka and cranberry, vodka martini, whiskey and cola, whiskey and soda, whiskey sour, white Canadian, wine spritzer)

However, it seems that in the top two rows, mimics and explosions are more likely to happen (these are scattered randomly throughout the layout), and furthermore, mimics get tougher higher up (the explosions also appear to be more damaging).

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: mimic [top two rows] (45 HP, [7 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: mimic [middle two rows] (35 HP, [5 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: mimic [bottom two rows] (25 HP, [3 XP]; +0 meat)
• Your barrel explodes (-approx. 50% HP)

The Bat Hole

(1) The Bat Hole Entrance

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: albino bat (8 ± 0 HP, 3.0 XP; E: none; bat guano, batgut; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: pine bat (8 ± 0 HP, 3.5 XP; E: none; batgut, bat wing, Pine-Fresh air freshener; +18-26 meat)
• Monster: regular old bat (8 ± 0 HP, 3.25 XP; E: none; bat guano, batgut, bat wing; +19-26 meat)

(2) Guano Junction

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: ONCE ONLY: How I Wonder What You're At (-5 HP, 2 sonar-in-a-biscuit)
• 10-LEAF CLOVER: What Can You Do? (3 baseballs)
• Monster: baseball bat (9 ± 0 HP, 3.75 XP; E: none; baseball, sonar-in-a-biscuit; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: briefcase bat (11 ± 0 HP, 4.25 XP; E: none; bat guano, briefcase, sonar-in-a-biscuit; +24-33 meat)
• Monster: doughbat (8 ± 0 HP, 3.5 XP; E: none; sonar-in-a-biscuit, wad of dough; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: perpendicular bat (12 ± 0 HP, 4.5 XP; E: none; batgut, bat wing, sonar-in-a-biscuit; +25-35 meat)
• Monster: skullbat (10 ± 0 HP, 4.0 XP; E: none; broken skull, loose teeth, sonar-in-a-biscuit; +24-33 meat)
• Monster: vampire bat (10 ± 0 HP, 4.25 XP; E: none; batgut, batwing, sonar-in-a-biscuit, vampire heart [only with wooden stakes equipped]; +32-48 meat)
• (SR) Le Chauve-Souris du Parfum (Eau de Guaneau)

(3) The Batrat and Ratbat Burrow

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: batrat (20 ± 1 HP, 5.75 XP; E: none; bat guano, batgut, bat wing; +18-26 meat)
• Monster: ratbat (22 ± 1 HP, 6.25 XP; E: none; rat appendix, (P) ratarang, ratgut; +18-26 meat)
• (SR) How Does He Smell? (Dogsgotnonoz pills)

(4) The Beanbat Chamber

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: beanbat (18 ± 0 HP, 5.25 XP; E: none; enchanted bean; +28-40 meat)

(5) The Boss Bat's Lair

• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: The Boss Bat (40 ± 0 HP, 8 XP; E: none; Boss Bat bandana, dense meat stack; +0 meat)
• Monster: beefy bodyguard bat (25 ± 1 HP, 6.25 XP; E: none; +211-296 meat)

Once the Boss Bat is defeated, the Boss Bat's Lair closes up shop.

The Black Forest

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: What the Cluck? (black picnic basket)
• ONCE ONLY: A Man in Black (black market map)
• Monster: black adder (124 ± 5 HP, 32.25 XP; E: none; adder bladder, black snake skin, sunken eyes [1 only]; +84-120 meat)
• Monster: The Black Knight (135 ± 5 HP, 30.75 XP; E: none; black greaves, black helmet, black shield, black sword; +74-107 meat)
• Monster: black panther (128 ± 5 HP, 33.25 XP; E: none; Black No. 2, broken wings [1 only]; +121-175 meat)
• Monster: black widow (121 ± 5 HP, 33.0 XP; E: none; black pension check, black picnic basket; +40-60 meat)
• Monster: blackberry bush (136 ± 5 HP, 31.5 XP; E: none, retaliates; 3 blackberries; +0 meat)
• The Blackberry Cobbler (only with 10 or more blackberries) (choose one of the following options)
  • Make some slippers (blackberry slippers, -10 blackberries)
  • Make some moccasins (blackberry moccasins, -10 blackberries)
  • Make some combat boots (blackberry combat boots, -10 blackberries)
  • Make like a tree and leave (nothing)

The Bounty Hunter Hunter's Shack

The Bounty Hunter Hunter will offer three bounties from this list per day -- one from the "low-level" list, one from the "mid-level" list, and one from the "high-level" list.

(1) Low-level bounties:

• 3 triffid barks from the Spooky Forest
• 6 oily rags from the gearheads at Degrassi Knoll
• 7 bits of wilted lettuce from weretacos in Fernswarthy's Tower
• 8 bloodstained briquettes from Knob Goblin barbecue teams near Cobb's Knob
• 13 chunks of hobo gristle from half-orc hoboes in The Sleazy Back Alley
• 13 shredded can labels from possessed cans in the Haunted Pantry
• 14 pink bat eyes from albino bats in the Bat Hole
• 20 empty greasepaint tubes from clowns in the "Fun" House

(2) Mid-level bounties:

• 4 callussed fingerbones from mariachi calaveras South of the Border
• 5 vials of pirate sweat from smarmy pirates on the Mysterious Island of Mystery
• 6 worthless pieces of yellow glass from kobolds in the Dungeons of Doom
• 8 balls of white lint from the Knights of Whitey's Grove
• 11 greasy dreadlocks from filthy hippies on the Mysterious Island of Mystery
• 17 bundles of receipts from bean counters in the Cobb's Knob Treasury
• 34 empty aftershave bottles from Orcish frat boys on the Mysterious Island of Mystery
• 40 broken petri dishes from the scientists inside Cobb's Knob

(3) High-level bounties:

• 5 burned-out arcanodiodes from MagiMechTech MechaMechs on the Penultimate Fantasy Airship
• 5 discarded pacifiers from Raver Giants in the Castle in the Sky
• 5 sammich crusts from Spam Witches in the Valley of Rof L'm Fao
• 6 bits of sticky stardust from astronomers in the Hole in the Sky
• 11 non-Euclidean hooves from cubist bulls in the Haunted Gallery
• 20 disintegrating corks from sommeliers in the Haunted Wine Cellar
• 40 billy idols from the goats of Mt. McLargeHuge
• 40 coal buttons from ninja snowmen on Mt. McLargeHuge

The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: Alphabet Giant (150 ± 5 HP, [29.0 XP]; heavy D, original G; +122-180 meat)
• Monster: Furry Giant (150 ± 5 HP, [27.0 XP]; disturbing fanfic, furry fur, wolf mask; +123-176 meat)
• Monster: Goth Giant (150 ± 5 HP, [26.0 XP]; awful poetry journal, thin black candle, Warm Subject gift certificate; +128-177 meat)
• Monster: Possibility Giant (150 ± 5 HP, [26.0 XP]; chaos butterfly, plot hole, probability potion; +125-176 meat)
• Monster: Procrastination Giant (150 ± 5 HP, [25.0 XP]; procrastination potion; +122-176 meat)
• Monster: Raver Giant (150 ± 5 HP, [28.0 XP]; Angry Farmer candy, giant needle, Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub; +124-179 meat)
• Being Taken Out by the Trash (job wheel must be set to "take out the garbage"; +250 Mus)
• In a Black Room, with Black Curtains (thin black candle, Warm Subject gift certificate)
• Outage, Brief Candle (job wheel must be set to "pay the electric bill"; +250 Mys)
• The Cat's in the Castle and the Silver Spoon (job wheel must be set to "feed the cat"; +250 Mox)
• What are the Odds? (plot hole, chaos butterfly)
• Wheel in the Clouds in the Sky, Keep On Turning (choose one of the following options)
• Turn the wheel clockwise (changes the Procrastination Giant's job in the following sequence: take out the garbage -> pay the electricity bill -> guard the back door -> feed the cat -> take out the garbage)
• Turn the wheel counterclockwise (changes the Procrastination Giant's job in the following sequence: take out the garbage -> feed the cat -> guard the back door -> pay the electricity bill -> take out the garbage)
• Leave the wheel alone (nothing)

Cobb's Knob

(1) The Outskirts of Cobb's Knob

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Knob Goblin Luck! (Knob Goblin Uberpants, +3 Mox)
• ONCE ONLY: A Funny Thing Happened... (+75 meat, -1 HP)
• ONCE ONLY: Brushed Off (pretentious paintbrush)
• ONCE ONLY: The Ghost of Dr. Hobo Jones (Dr. Hobo's map)
• ONCE ONLY: Unstubbed [only on completion of When Rocks Attack quest] (ring of half-assed regeneration)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Assistant Chef (1 HP, [1 XP]; chef's hat, Knob Goblin pants, Knob Goblin tongs; +7-9 meat)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Barbecue Team (2 HP, [1 XP]; bowl of cottage cheese, Knob Goblin tongs; +8-12 meat)
• Monster: sleeping Knob Goblin Guard (1 HP, [1 XP]; Knob Goblin pants, Knob Goblin scimitar, viking helmet; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: Sub-Assistant Knob Mad Scientist (1 HP, [1 XP]; Knob Goblin firecracker, Knob Goblin pants, strongness elixir; +5-7 meat)
• (Tu) C'mere, Little Fella! (knobby helmet turtle)
• Ennui is Wasted on the Young (choose one of the following options)
• "Wrestling's fun. Wanna wrestle?" (+4-5 Mus, -2 HP OR +6-8 Mus, +10 Pumped Up effect)
• "You could go get me a beer." (ice-cold Sir Schlitz)
• "Have you considered vandalism, loitering, and petty theft?" (+2-3 Mox, lemon)
• "Since you're bored, you're boring. I'm outta here." (nothing)
• Knob Goblin BBQ (choose one of the following options)
• Kiss the chef (-2 HP; changes unlit birthday cake into lit birthday cake)
• Kick the chef (Monster: Knob Goblin Barbecue Team (as above))
• Abscond with some goodies (bowl of cottage cheese OR (T) Kiss the Knob apron OR Knob Goblin tongs OR Knob Goblin pants)
• Malice in Chains (choose one of the following options)
• Serve your sentence (+4-5 Mus)
• Rise and revolt (+6-8 Mus OR -1 HP)
• Plot a cunning escape (Monster: sleeping Knob Goblin Guard (as above))
• When Rocks Attack [disappears once accepted] (choose one of the following options)
• "Sure, I'll help." (+30 Meat; begins When Rocks Attack quest)
• "Sorry, gotta run." (nothing)

(2) Cobb's Knob Kitchens

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Luck in the Kitchens (Knob Kitchen Grab-Bag)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Chef (15 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: none; Knob Goblin spatula, Knob sausage, tomato, wad of dough; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Master Chef (20 ± 1 HP, 5.5 XP; E: none; dry noodles, Knob Goblin spatula, Knob mushroom, spices; +0 meat)
• (SR) Monster: Knob Goblin Elite Guard Captain (approx. 35 HP, approx. 38 XP; Knob Goblin elite helm, Knob Goblin elite pants, Knob Goblin elite polearm; +282 meat)

(3) Cobb's Knob Treasury

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Primo Meat Stash (dense meat stack)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Bean Counter (20 ± 1 HP, 6.0 XP; E: none; hill of beans, Knob Goblin visor, meat stack; +51-69 meat)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Elite Guardsman (30 ± 1 HP, 7.5 XP; E: none; Knob Goblin elite helm, Knob Goblin elite polearm, Knob Goblin elite pants, (T) Knob Goblin elite shirt; +40-60 meat)
• Meat Score! (+500 meat)
• Treasury Chest (+300 meat)

(4) Cobb's Knob Harem

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: A Series of Fortunate Events (Knob Goblin perfume, 300 meat, +20 Mus)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Elite Guardsman (as above)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Harem Girl (20 ± 1 HP, 6.25 XP; E: sleaze; disease, Knob Goblin harem pants, Knob Goblin harem veil, Knob Goblin perfume, (T) harem girl t-shirt, swindleblossom [only on Doc Galaktik's quest] [3 only]); +0 meat)
• A Bard Day's Night (choose one of the following options)
• Boozember Rain (Knob Goblin harem veil)
• It's Completely Ordinary (Knob Goblin harem pants)
• Here's 25 Meat (+94-110 meat)
• Harem Scarem (+8 Mys)
• Hippo Ballet To You (+8 Mox)
• You're Gonna Carry That Weight (+8 Mus)

(5) Cobb's Knob King's Chamber

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: The Knob Goblin King (50 ± 0 HP, approx. 66 XP, approx. 53 power; E: none; Crown of the Goblin King, 2 dense meat stacks; +0 meat)

(6) Knob Goblin Laboratory

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Believe it or Not (3 Knob Goblin superseltzers)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Mad Scientist (25 ± 1 HP, 10.0 XP; E: none; Knob Goblin love potion, Knob Goblin seltzer, Knob Goblin steroids; +32-48 meat)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Very Mad Scientist (30 ± 1 HP, 11.25 XP; E: none; bunch of square grapes, Knob Goblin melon baller, Knob Goblin seltzer, Knob Goblin superseltzer, scrumptious reagent, (P) smudged alchemical recipe; +38-53 meat)
• (SR) You Can Top Our Desserts, But You Can't Beat Our Meats (bottle of Mystic Shell)

(7) Cobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 1

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: BASIC Elemental (40 ± 2 HP, 12.5 XP; E: none; +0 meat)
• Monster: Fruit Golem (46 ± 2 HP, 14.0 XP; E: none; cherry, lime, orange; +0 meat)
• Monster: Knob Goblin Mutant (43 ± 2 HP, 13.25 XP; E: none; +44-65 meat)

(8) Cobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 2

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: Carnivorous Moxie Weed (56 ± 2 HP, 16.5 XP; E: none; 2 giant moxie weeds, moxie weed; +0 meat)
• Monster: Grass Elemental (50 ± 2 HP, 15.0 XP; E: none; +0 meat)
• Monster: Weremoose (53 ± 2 HP, 15.75 XP; E: none; +52-75 meat)
• (SR) Rokay, Raggy! (irradiated pet snacks)

(9) Cobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 3

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: Booze Giant (66 ± 3 HP, 19.0 XP; E: none; bottle of gin, bottle of rum, bottle of tequila, bottle of vodka, bottle of whiskey, boxed wine; +0 meat)
• Monster: Portly Abomination (63 ± 3 HP, 18.25 XP; E: none; +61-89 meat)
• Monster: Spectral Jellyfish (60 ± 3 HP, 17.5 XP; E: none; +0 meat)

(10) The Knob Shaft

Undisguised:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Junction in the Trunction (choose one of the following options)
• Go down the left shaft (Shafted!: 3 cardboard ores)
• Go down the middle shaft (Shafted!: 3 styrofoam ores)
• Go down the right shaft (Shafted!: 3 bubblewrap ores)
• Monster: ghost miner (31 ± 1 HP, 7.5 XP; E: spooky, physically resistant; 2 bubblewrap ores, 2 cardboard ores, 2 styrofoam ores; +0 meat)
• Mine! (bubblewrap ore)
• Mine! (cardboard ore)
• Mine! (styrofoam ore)

Disguised:

When disguised in the MiningGear, you may mine inside the Knob Shaft. The rules for mining here are much the same as in ItznotyerzitzMine, except of course the ores are different. The cave-ins are also much less damaging here.

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Among the pile of tailings is a strange stone (stone of eXtreme power)
• An inexpert swing of your Mattock causes a tremendous cave-in (-approx. 30% HP)
• You carve out a chunk of bubblewrap ore (bubblewrap ore)
• You carve out a chunk of cardboard ore (cardboard ore)
• You carve out a chunk of styrofoam ore (styrofoam ore)
• You cut away some rock (nothing)
• You stumble upon a vein of meat (meat stack)

The Cola Wars Battlefield

With the end of the TemporalRifts event, the Battlefield remained, but it is only accessible to characters of level 4 or 5.

Undisguised:

• A Turn of the Coat (+var. Mys)
• Confusing the Issue (+var. Mox)
• Smells Like Team Spirit (choose one of the following options)
• Dyspepsi-Cola (Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues)
• Cloaca-Cola (Cloaca-Cola helmet)
• Don't get involved (+15 Mus)
• The Effervescent Fray (choose one of the following options)
• Listen to the red leader (Cloaca-Cola fatigues)
• Listen to the blue leader (Dyspepsi-Cola shield)
• Don't get involved (+15 Mys)
• The Real Thing (+var. Mus)
• What is it Good For? (choose one of the following options)
• Help the Dyspepsi soldier (Dyspepsi-Cola helmet)
• Help the Cloaca soldier (Cloaca-Cola shield)
• Don't get involved (+15 Mox)

In Cloaca-Cola Uniform:

• Monster: Dyspepsi-Cola General (40 HP, [6 XP]; 2 Dyspepsi-Cola, Dyspepsi grenade, Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations, +0 meat)
• Monster: Dyspepsi-Cola Knight (35 HP, [6 XP]; Dyspepsi-Cola, Dyspepsi grenade, +0 meat)
• Monster: Dyspepsi-Cola Soldier (30 HP, [6 XP]; 2 Dyspepsi-Cola, Dyspepsi grenade, +0 meat)
• (Tu) Capital! (bottlecap turtle)
• Kneatly Knicking the Knapsack (Cloaca-Cola knapsack)

In Dyspepsi-Cola Uniform:

• Monster: Cloaca-Cola Catapult Engineer (40 HP, [6 XP]; 2 Cloaca-Cola, Cloaca grenade, Cloaca-Cola c-rations, +0 meat)
• Monster: Cloaca-Cola Footsoldier (35 HP, [6 XP]; Cloaca-Cola, Cloaca grenade, +0 meat)
• Monster: Cloaca-Cola Soldier (30 HP, [6 XP]; 2 Cloaca-Cola, Cloaca grenade, +0 meat)
• (Tu) Capital! (bottlecap turtle)
• Kneatly Knicking the Knapsack (Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack)

The Copse of the Deep Fat Friars

(1) The Dark Neck of the Woods

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: Dodecahedrariffic! (dodecagram)
• Monster: Hellion (52 ± 2 HP, 13.0 XP; E: hot; hellion cube; +0 meat)
• Monster: P imp (42 ± 2 HP, 10.5 XP; E: hot; diamond-studded cane, hot wing, Imp Ale; +24-36 meat)
• Monster: W imp (40 ± 2 HP, 10.0 XP; E: hot; Imp Ale, ruby W, wussiness potion; +24-36 meat)
• Friar No More (+150 meat)
• (SR) It's The Only Way To Be Sure (SPF 451 lip balm)

(2) The Dark Heart of the Woods

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: Candles in the Wind (box of birthday candles)
• Monster: Fallen Archfiend (50 ± 2 HP, 12.5 XP; E: hot; demon skin, evil golden arch, infernal insoles; +37-54 meat)
• Monster: G imp (46 ± 2 HP, 11.5 XP; E: hot; hot wing, Imp Ale, leather mask; +24-36 meat)
• Monster: P imp (as above)
• (SR) It's The Only Way To Be Sure (SPF 451 lip balm)
• On Wings of Fire (2 hot wings)

(3) The Dark Elbow of the Woods

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: Like Butter (eldritch butterknife)
• Monster: Demoninja (48 ± 2 HP, 12.0 XP; E: hot; demon skin, hot katana blade, ninja hot pants, fraudwort [only on Doc Galaktik's quest] [3 only]; +40-60 meat)
• Monster: G imp (as above)
• Monster: L imp (44 ± 2 HP, 11.0 XP; E: hot; cast, flaming crutch, Imp Ale; +24-35 meat)
• Das Bierdieb (3 Imp Ales)
• (SR) It's The Only Way To Be Sure (SPF 451 lip balm)

(4) The Deep Fat Friars' Gate

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: Going Ballet Up (Azazel's tutu)
• ONCE ONLY: Highway to Hey Deze (Hey Deze map)
• ONCE ONLY: It's a Good Ship! (Azazel's lollipop)
• ONCE ONLY: We're on a Bridge! (Azazel's unicorn)
• UNTIL PASSED: Bureaucracy of the Damned (choose one of the following options)
• Follow the pencilnecked demon (with all three of Azazel's items: steel item; otherwise, nothing)
• Follow the pencilnecked demon (with all three of Azazel's items: steel item; otherwise, nothing)
• Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the pencilnecked demon (with all three of Azazel's items: steel item; otherwise, nothing)
• Don't follow the pencilnecked demon (nothing)
• Monster: Demoninja (as above)
• Monster: Fallen Archfiend (as above)
• Monster: G imp (as above)
• Monster: Hellion (as above)
• Monster: L imp (as above)
• Monster: P imp (as above)
• Monster: W imp (as above)
• Das Bierdieb (3 Imp Ales)
• Friar No More (+150 meat)
• (SR) It's The Only Way To Be Sure (SPF 451 lip balm)
• Leavesdropping (with Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet equipped: acquire demon name; without: +50 Mox)
• On Wings of Fire (2 hot wings)

The Daily Dungeon

A note on doors in the Daily Dungeon: Attempting to force the door takes 1 adventure. It uses your main stat to attempt to open the door, and may succeed or fail. Even if you succeed, you may trigger a trap which damages you or costs you Adventures. If you have a set of Pick-O-Matic lockpicks, you can attempt to pick the lock. Picking the lock does not take an adventure, but if you fail, you can trigger a trap with similar ill effects. Finally, if you have a skeleton key, you can use it. Using a skeleton key does not take an adventure, and is completely safe, but there is a chance that the key will break and you'll lose it.

Rooms 1-9:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: apathetic lizardman (12 HP, [4 XP]; +10 Apathy effect; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: dairy ooze (8 HP, [2-3 XP]; +11-15 meat)
• Monster: dodecapede (8 HP, [2 XP]; +10-14 meat)
• Monster: giant giant moth (11 HP, [3-4 XP]; +14-18 meat)
• Monster: mayonnaise wasp (11 HP, [3-4 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: pencil golem (11 HP, [3 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: sabre-toothed lime (8 HP, [3 XP]; +12-16 meat)
• Monster: tonic water elemental (14 HP, [3-4 XP]; +15-20 meat)
• Monster: vampire clam (14 HP, [3-4 XP]; +17-22 meat)
• Badger Badger Badger Badger [Moxie check to proceed]
• The Biggest Bathtub Ever [Muscle check to proceed]
• Blister in the Sun (pass safely with Hot Resistance, else -var. HP)
• Brrrrrr. (pass safely with Cold Resistance, else -var. HP)
• Dungeon Fever [Moxie check to proceed]
• Did I Leave the Floor On? (pass safely with Fire Resistance, else -var. HP)
• Giant Creepy Floating Skull (pass safely with Spooky Resistance, else -var. HP)
• A Hairier Barrier [Mysticality check to proceed]
• Locked Door [either force, use a skeleton key, or pick the lock]
• Magic Shell [Mysticality check to proceed]
• The Mystic Seal [Mysticality check to proceed]
• The Night Gallery (pass safely with Spooky Resistance, else -var. HP)
• Piledriver [Muscle check to proceed]
• Seriously, I Just Read It For the Articles (pass safely with Sleaze Resistance, else -var. HP)
• Sewage Moat (pass safely with Stench Resistance, else -var. HP)
• Smooth Criminal [Moxie check to proceed]
• The Warehouse of Eternal Stench (pass safely with Stench Resistance, else -var. HP)
• Treasure! (can of maces)
• Treasure! (concentrated magicalness pill)
• Treasure! (enchanted barbell)
• Treasure! (extra-strength strongness elixir)
• Treasure! (giant moxie weed)
• Treasure! (jug-o-magicalness)
• Treasure! (Pick-O-Matic lockpicks)
• Treasure! (potato sprout)
• Treasure! (ring of half-assed regeneration)
• Treasure! (rubber axe)
• Treasure! (skeleton key)
• Treasure! (skeleton key ring)
• Treasure! (suntan lotion of moxiousness)
• Treasure! (walrus-tusk earring)
• Yet Another Troll [Muscle check to proceed]
• You Schmooze, You Lose (pass safely with Stench Resistance, else -var. HP)
• You'll Put Your Eye Out (pass safely with Cold Resistance, else -var. HP)

Room 10:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Treasure! (Boris's key)
• Treasure! (Boris's ring)
• Treasure! (Jarlsberg's earring)
• Treasure! (Jarlsberg's key)
• Treasure! (Sneaky Pete's breath spray)
• Treasure! (Sneaky Pete's key)

The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave

• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster (Saucerors only): Lumpy, the Sinister Sauceblob (8 HP, [3 XP]; Ancient Saucehelm; +32-38 meat)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster (Seal Clubbers only): Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal (8 HP, [3 XP]; The Scalp of Gorgolok; +32-38 meat)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster (Accordion Thieves only): Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi (8 HP, [3 XP]; El Sombrero De Lopez; +32-38 meat)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster (Pastamancers only): Spaghetti Elemental (8 HP, [3 XP]; The Colander of Em-er'il; +32-38 meat)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster (Disco Bandits only): The Spirit of New Wave (8 HP, [3 XP]; Disco 'Fro Pick; +32-38 meat)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster (Turtle Tamers only): Stella, the Turtle Poacher (8 HP, [3 XP]; Elder Turtle Shell; +32-38 meat)

The Defiled Cyrpt

When you beat the "miniboss" monster in each area, you can no longer adventure in that area.

(1) The Defiled Nook

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: giant skeelton (60 HP, [14 XP]; 3 skeleton bones; +0 meat)
• Monster: spiny skelelton (50 HP, [10-11 XP]; skeleton bone, smart skull, spiked femur; +0 meat)
• Monster: toothy sklelton (50 HP, [11-12 XP]; 2 loose teeth, skeleton bone; +0 meat)

(2) The Defiled Cranny

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: huge ghuol (60 HP, [15 XP]; ghuol ears, ghuol egg; +0 meat)
• Monster: gaunt ghuol (50 HP, [11 XP]; ghuol ears, ghuol egg; +0 meat)
• Monster: gluttonous ghuol (50 HP, [11 XP]; ghuol ears, ghuol egg, ghuol guolash, huge spoon; +25-36 meat)

(3) The Defiled Alcove

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: conjoined zmombie (60 HP, [15 XP]; 2 cranberries, loose teeth; +299-322 meat)
• Monster: corpulent zobmie (50 HP, [10-11 XP]; 2 cranberries, (T) Grateful Undead T-shirt, loose teeth; +0 meat)
• Monster: grave rober zmobie (50 HP, [11-12 XP]; coffin lid, dead guy's watch, rusty grave robbing shovel, loose teeth, shysterweed [only on Doc Galaktik's quest] [3 only]; +0 meat)

(4) The Defiled Niche

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: gargantulihc (60 HP, [14 XP]; 2 lihc eyes; +0 meat)
• Monster: senile lihc (50 HP, [11-12 XP]; lihc eye, lihc face; +0 meat)
• Monster: slick lihc (50 HP, [11-12 XP]; lihc eye, lihc face; +0 meat)

(5) The Haert of the Cyrpt

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: The Bonerdagon (120 HP, [18 XP]; chest of the Bonerdagon, skull of the Bonerdagon; +0 meat)

Degrassi Knoll

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: That's Amore (goat cheese pizza OR mushroom pizza OR sausage pizza)
• ONCE ONLY: Screwdriver, wider than a mile. (rusty screwdriver)
• Monster: Gnollish Crossdresser (5 HP, [2 XP]; frilly skirt, gnoll teeth, maiden wig; +18-26 meat)
• Monster: Gnollish Flyslayer (5 HP, [2 XP]; gnoll lips, gnoll teeth, Gnollish flyswatter; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: Gnollish Gearhead (5 HP, [2 XP]; gnoll lips, Gnollish toolbox; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: Gnollish Piebaker (6 HP, [2-3 XP]; Gnollish pie server, Gnollish pie tin, skewer, wad of dough; +22-31 meat)
• Monster: Gnollish Plungermaster (6 HP, [2-3 XP]; gnoll lips, gnoll teeth, Gnollish plunger; +23-29 meat)
• Monster: Gnollish Tirejuggler (6 HP, [2-3 XP]; gnoll lips, gnoll teeth, tires; +21-28 meat)
• Monster: Gnollish War Chef (9 HP, [2-3 XP]; Gnollish slotted spoon, 2 Knoll mushrooms, skewer; +20-27 meat)
• Monster: Guard Bugbear (6 HP, [2-3 XP]; bugbear beanie, bugbear bungguard; +20-28 meat)
• Monster: one-eyed Gnoll (5 HP, [2-3 XP]; eyepatch, gnoll teeth; +19-25 meat)
• (Tu) A Rolling Turtle Gather No Moss (furry green turtle)
• Gnollish Toga Party (2 ice-cold Willers)
• Gnollish Workshop (spring, sprocket, cog)

Drunken Stupor

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Coyote Ugly (-10 meat)
• Gutterbound (-3 Mox)
• Hey, baby. Wanna wrestle? (-3 Mus)
• The Too-Much Booze Blues (-1 Mus, -1 Mys, -1 Mox)
• What's that smell? (+3 meat)

The Dungeons of Doom

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: swarm of killer bees (a) (45 HP, [7-8 XP]; baby killer bee, royal jelly; +0 meat)
• Monster: acid blob (b) (40 HP, [7-8 XP]; +5 Corroded Weapon effect; +0 meat)
• Monster: mind flayer (h) (47 HP, [7-8 XP]; mind flayer corpse, cornuthaum; +0 meat)
• Monster: large kobold (k) (30 HP, [7-8 XP]; ring of aggravate monster, small box; +0 meat)
• Monster: Quantum Mechanic (Q) (51 HP, [8-9 XP]; vorpal blade, large box; +0 meat)
• A Dash of Boulder (') (+21 Mus)
• Ouch! You bump into a door! (choose one of the following options)
• Buy a magic lamp (-50 meat, magic lamp)
• Buy what appears to be some sort of cloak (-5000 meat, Monster: mimic (m) (50 HP, [9 XP]; dead mimic; +0 meat))
• Leave without buying anything. (nothing)
• The Hunger (+21 Mox)
• The Return of the Dishwasher (#) (+21 Mys)

The Enormous Greater-Than Sign

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: Plus? Plus what? (plus sign)
• A big Q (+5 Teleportitis effect)
• A Non-Capital Crime (-30 meat, +8 Mox)
• Hyp-mo-tized (+8 Mys)
• I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Asterisks. (+7 Mus)
• Killer As (-7 HP, +7 Mys)
• No Contraction (+8 Mus)
• Parenthetical Advisory (+7 Mox)

With Teleportitis effect:

• The Oracle Will See You Now (choice: leave, Minor Consultation (100 meat), Major Consultation (1000 meat))

The eXtreme Slope

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: eXtreme cross-country hippy (65 ± 3 HP, 18.25 XP; E: stench; eXtreme mittens, eXtreme scarf, Mountain Stream soda; +0 meat)
• Monster: eXtreme Orcish snowboarder (65 ± 3 HP, 18.50 XP; E: sleaze; (T) eXtreme Bi-Polar Fleece Vest, eXtreme mittens, Mountain Stream soda, snowboarder pants; +32-48 meat)
• Monster: sk8 gnome (65 ± 3 HP, 18.75 XP; E: none; gr8ps, sk8board, t8r tots; +57-84 meat)
• eXtreme Trick-Turning (+15 Mys)
• Generic Teen Comedy Snowboarding Adventure (choose one of the following options)
• Give him a pep-talk (eXtreme mittens)
• Give him some boarding tips (snowboarder pants)
• Offer to help him cheat (+200 meat)
• Saint Beernard (choose one of the following options)
• Help the heroic dog (snowboarder pants)
• Flee in terror (eXtreme scarf)
• Ask for some beer, first (+200 meat)
• See You l8r, Gnome. (+15 Mox)
• X Spots the Mark (+15 Mus)
• Yeti Nother Hippy (choose one of the following options)
• Help the hippy (eXtreme mittens)
• Let irony take its course (eXtreme scarf)
• Negotiate his release (+200 meat)

Ruins of Fernswarthy's Tower

(1) Tower Ruins

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: I've Gotta Crow (disembodied brain, +15 Mys)
• ONCE ONLY: Staring into Nothing (opens Stairs to Nowhere)
• ONCE ONLY: Into the Maw of Deepness [only after Staring into Nothing] (opens The Basement)
• ONCE ONLY: Take a Dusty Look! [only after Into the Maw of Deepness] (dusty old book)
• Monster: Brainsweeper (9 HP, [3-4 XP]; disembodied brain; +29-43 meat)
• Monster: Bread Golem (8 HP, [3-4 XP]; wad of dough; +27-38 meat)
• Monster: Chowder Golem (9 HP, [3-4 XP]; +30-42 meat)
• Monster: Lesser Fruit Golem (9 HP, [3-4 XP]; grapefruit, grapes, lemon, orange, strawberry; +0 meat)
• Monster: Weretaco (8 HP, [3-4 XP]; taco shell, uncooked chorizo; +26-36 meat)
• Monster: Yeast Beast (8 HP, [3-4 XP]; 2 wads of dough; +0 meat)

(2) The Basement: see FernswarthysBasement

The "Fun" House

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: The Boxer (3 boxes)
• Monster: bugbear-in-the-box (11 HP, [3-4 XP]; box, bugbear beanie, bugbear bungguard; +12-18 meat)
• Monster: creepy clown (16 HP, [4 XP]; acid-squirting flower, clown shoes, clown skin, foolscap fool's cap, (P) polka-dot bowtie; +25-35 meat)
• Monster: disease-in-the-box (14 HP, [3-4 XP]; box, disease; +0 meat)
• Monster: lemon-in-the-box (12 HP, [3-4 XP]; box, lemon; +0 meat)
• Monster: scary clown (15 HP, [3-4 XP]; big red clown nose, bloody clown pants, clown skin, long skinny balloon, (P) polka-dot bowtie; +21-29 meat)
• Monster: shaky clown (16 HP, [3-4 XP]; big red clown nose, bloody clown pants, bottle of gin, bottle of rum, bottle of tequila, bottle of vodka, bottle of whiskey, boxed wine, clown shoes, clown skin; +19-24 meat)
• (Tu) Boxed In (box turtle)

The Goatlet

Between a Rock and Some Other Rocks must be cleared before you can adventure at the rest of the Goatlet.

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL PASSED: Between a Rock and Some Other Rocks (choose one of the following options)
• Help the miners clear the rocks away (without Mining Gear equipped, nothing; with Mining Gear equipped, opens Goatlet)
• Screw these rocks, I'm gonna roll out (nothing)
• Monster: dairy goat (50 ± 2 HP, 17.0 XP; E: none; glass of goat's milk, goat cheese; +40-59 meat)
• Monster: drunk goat (50 ± 2 HP, 17.0 XP; E: none; bottle of whiskey, goat beard; +36-53 meat)
• Monster: sabre-toothed goat (50 ± 2 HP, 17.0 XP; E: none; goat beard, sabre teeth; +44-66 meat)
• (SR) Natural Selection (can of spinach)

The Haiku Dungeon

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Haiku Dungeon Ruck (bling-bling)
• *Haiku Dungeon Craziness (rusty L-shaped piece of metal)
• Haiku Dungeon Debauchery (+2 Mus)
• Haiku Dungeon Depravity (+2 Mys)
• Haiku Dungeon Excitement ("Gelatinous Cube!...") (+15 meat)
• Haiku Dungeon Excitement ("Oh no! A Bugbear!...") (bugbear bungguard)
• Haiku Dungeon Excitement ("You light up your torch...") (+2 Mys)
• Haiku Dungeon Extravaganza (+1 Mox)
• Haiku Dungeon Hooray! (+2 Mus)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Fall ("Covered in old bones...") (+20 meat)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Fall ("You wanna kick ass...") (+2 Mus)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Spring ("Where's all the gravy?...") (meat from yesterday)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Spring ("You gain a level!...") (+1 Mus)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Summer ("Assault the Dragon?...") (+2 Mox)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Summer ("The greatest treasure...") (+1 Mox)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Summer ("You stumble upon...") (+2 Mys)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Winter ("Clash of Steel on Steel...") (+20 meat)
• Haiku Dungeon in the Winter ("The Gravy Fairies...") (fairy gravy)
• Haiku Dungeon Insanity (+2 Mox)
• *Haiku Dungeon Loot (locked Orcish meat locker)
• Haiku Dungeon Lunch Break (+30 meat)
• *Haiku Dungeon Monotony (crusty L-shaped piece of metal, +15 meat)
• Haiku Dungeon Relaxation (ice-cold Willer)
• Haiku Dungeon Romance (+2 Mox)
• Haiku Dungeon Self-Destruction (+2 Mys)
• Haiku Dungeon Skullduggery (+25 meat)

The Haunted Pantry

Once you get The Manor in Which You're Accustomed, the Haunted Pantry disappears and is replaced by Spookyraven Manor, which contains it.

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: It's Your Lucky Day! (+100 meat)
• ONCE ONLY: Cut Down in His Prime (razor-sharp can lid, 50 Meat)
• ONCE ONLY: Happy Birthday, Claude! [only on completion of Baker, Baker quest] (pat-a-cake pendant)
• ONCE ONLY: Shoe of Many Colors (pretentious palette)
• ONCE ONLY: Spirit of the Dolphin King (Dolphin King's map)
• ONCE ONLY: The Manor in Which You're Accustomed (opens Spookyraven Manor)
• Monster: fiendish can of asparagus (1 HP, [1 XP]; asparagus knife, razor-sharp can lid, stalk of asparagus; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: flame-broiled meat blob (2 HP, [1 XP]; 3 meat pastes; +16-23 meat)
• Monster: possessed can of tomatoes (1 HP, [1 XP]; razor-sharp can lid, tomato; +2-4 meat)
• Monster: undead elbow macaroni (1 HP, [1 XP]; magicalness-in-a-can; +4-6 meat)
• Oh No, Hobo (choose one of the following options)
• Give him a beating (Monster: drunken half-orc hobo (1 HP, [1 XP]; dirty hobo gloves, Mad Train wine, moxie weed; +0 meat))
• Give him some Meat (+10 Good Karma effect, -5 Meat)
• Give him the business (+5-10 Meat, +3-4 Mys, +3-4 Mox)
• The Baker's Dilemma [disappears once accepted] (choose one of the following options)
• "I'll see what I can do." (unlit birthday cake; begins Baker, Baker quest)
• "Sorry, I'm busy right now." (nothing)
• "Hey, what's that over there?" (+4-5 Mox, +16-20 Meat)
• The Singing Tree (choose one of the following options)
• "Sing a sad song" (+4-5 Mys, -1 Meat)
• "Sing a happy song" (+4-5 Mox, -1 Meat)
• "Sing whatever you want" (whiskey and soda, -1 Meat OR +4-5 Mys, -2 HP, -1 Meat OR +6-8 Mys, -1 Meat)
• "No singing, thanks." (nothing)
• Trespasser (choose one of the following options)
• Tackle him (Monster: Knob Goblin Assistant Chef (as above))
• Challenge him to a magical duel (+6-8 Mys OR +4 Mys, -2 HP)
• Wait and see what happens (1-3 of: asparagus knife, magicalness-in-a-can, razor-sharp can lid, stalk of asparagus)

The Hidden Temple

Stat gains in the Hidden Temple are proportional to the current level of the statistic. They appear to be capped at 50 for a regular adventure or 25 each (75 total) for Trapstravaganza. Similarly, the HP and MP losses are proportional to your maximum HP or MP.

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Trapstravaganza! (+var. Mus, +var. Mys, +var. Mox)
• UNTIL PASSED: At Least it's Not Full Of Trash (choose one of the following options)
• Try to jam the walls with a weapon (-all HP)
• Raise your hands up toward the heavens (pass)
• Kneel penitently on the ground (-all HP)
• UNTIL PASSED: Dvorak's Revenge (only after passing At Least it's Not Full Of Trash) (choose letters from the available set)
• Choose all correct letters: pass
• Choose an incorrect letter: -all HP
• UNTIL PASSED: No Visible Means of Support (only after passing Dvorak's Revenge) (choose one of the following options)
• Run around in a mad panic (-all HP)
• Attempt to douse the flames (-all HP)
• Do nothing (opens up the Hidden City)
• Arrowed! (+var. Mox)
• Cunning Puzzle Trap (+var. Mox)
• Lightning Trap (+var. Mys OR -var. MP)
• Poison Gas Trap (+var. Mys)
• Rolling Stone Trap (+var. Mus OR -var. HP)
• Swinging Blade Trap (+var. Mus)

The Hippy Camp

Undisguised:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Batty About Fruit (fruit bowl)
• Monster: crusty hippy (30 ± 1 HP, 10.25 XP; E: stench; filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped], windchimes; +0 meat)
• Monster: crusty hippy jewelry maker (30 ± 1 HP, 10.25 XP; E: stench; beach glass bead, clay peace-sign bead, filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, hemp string, phat turquoise bead, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped]; +0 meat)
• Monster: crusty hippy Vegan chef (30 ± 1 HP, 10.25 XP; E: stench; filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, filthy pestle, herbs, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped]; +0 meat)
• Monster: dirty hippy (30 ± 1 HP, 10.0 XP; E: stench; Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots, filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped]; +0 meat)
• Monster: dirty hippy jewelry maker (30 ± 1 HP, 10.0 XP; E: stench; beach glass bead, clay peace-sign bead, filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, hemp string, phat turquoise bead, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped]; +0 meat)
• Monster: dirty hippy Vegan chef (30 ± 1 HP, 10.0 XP; E: stench; carob chunks, filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, filthy pestle, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped], Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix; +0 meat)
• Monster: filthy hippy (30 ± 1 HP, 9.75 XP; E: stench; decorative fountain, filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, patchouli incense stick, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped], tambourine bells; +0 meat)
• Monster: filthy hippy jewelry maker (30 ± 1 HP, 9.75 XP; E: stench; beach glass bead, clay peace-sign bead, filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, hemp string, patchouli incense stick, phat turquoise bead, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped]; +0 meat)
• Monster: filthy hippy Vegan chef (30 ± 1 HP, 9.75 XP; E: stench; filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, filthy pestle, patchouli incense stick, reodorant, Spanish fly [only with Spanish fly trap equipped], tambourine bells, wad of tofu; +0 meat)
• *An Inconvenient Truth (choose one of the following options)
• Check out the clothing (filthy knitted dread sack)
• Avert your eyes (filthy corduroys)
• Flee in terror before your brain cracks (+214-286 meat)
• *Getting Ahead in Life (filthy knitted dread sack)
• *Hippy Birthday to You (filthy corduroys)
• *Peace Wants Love (choose one of the following options)
• Agree to take his clothes (filthy corduroys)
• Say "No thanks." (filthy knitted dread sack)
• Ask if he had anything in his pockets (+204-296 meat)
• (SR) The Latest Sorcerous Developments (teeny-tiny magic scroll)

Disguised:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: A Case of the Baskets (fruit basket)
• Bug Zapper (+15 Mys)
• Ecosabotage (+15 Mys)
• (T) Filthy Pinko Hippy (filthy hippy poncho)
• Fluffy is Missing! (+17 Mys)
• Games Hippies Play (+17 Mys)
• Hippies in the Mist (+15 Mys)
• Hooray! A Stupid Drum Circle! (+16 Mys)
• The Gift of Gag (vial of patchouli oil)
• The Hennamaster (henna tattoo)
• The Old Switcheroo (+16 Mys)
• What's Brown and Sounds Like a Parrot? (jug-o-magicalness, secret blend of herbs and spices, wad of tofu)
• Where There's Smoke... (+20 Mys, +3 Confused effect)
• Your Favorite Joke (+19 Mys, -5 HP)

The Hole in the Sky

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: The Astronomer (150 ± 5 HP, 42.0 XP; E: none; star chart; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: The Burrowing Bishop (150 ± 5 HP, 40.75 XP; E: sleaze; 2 lines, star; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: The Family Jewels (150 ± 5 HP, 39.0 XP; 3 stars; E: sleaze; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: The Hooded Warrior (150 ± 5 HP, 41.25 XP; E: sleaze; line, 2 stars; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: The Junk (150 ± 5 HP, 39.75 XP; E: sleaze; 2 lines, star; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: One-Eyed Willie (150 ± 5 HP, 37.5 XP; E: sleaze; 2 lines, star; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: The Pork Sword (150 ± 5 HP, 40.5 XP; E: sleaze; line, 2 stars; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: The Skinflute (150 ± 5 HP, 39.5 XP; E: sleaze; 2 lines, 2 stars; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: The Trouser Snake (150 ± 5 HP, 38.25 XP; E: sleaze; 3 lines; +0 meat)
• (E) Monster: The Twig and Berries (150 ± 5 HP, 38.0 XP; E: sleaze; line, 2 stars; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Axe Wound (150 ± 5 HP, 40.75 XP; E: sleaze; 2 lines, star; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Beaver (150 ± 5 HP, 40.5 XP; E: sleaze; line, 2 stars; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Box (150 ± 5 HP, 37.5 XP; E: sleaze; 3 lines; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Bush (150 ± 5 HP, 39.0 XP; E: sleaze; 3 stars; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Camel's Toe (150 ± 5 HP, 39.5 XP; E: sleaze; 2 lines, 2 stars; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Flange (150 ± 5 HP, 39.75 XP; E: sleaze; 2 lines, star; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Honey Pot (150 ± 5 HP; 38.0 XP; E: sleaze; line, 2 stars; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Little Man in the Canoe (150 ± 5 HP; 41.25 XP; E: sleaze; line, 2 stars; +0 meat)
• (O) Monster: The Muff (150 ± 5 HP; 38.25 XP; E: sleaze; 2 lines, star; +0 meat)

The Icy Peak

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Encino Penguin (frozen Mob Penguin)
• Monster: Knott Yeti (90 ± 4 HP, 26.25 XP; E: cold; yeti fur; +166-239 meat)
• Monster: Snow Queen (70 ± 3 HP, 26.75 XP; E: cold, resists physical attacks; crazy little Turkish delight, ga-ga radio, Snow Queen Crown; +0 meat)
• Monster: upgraded ram (95 ± 4 HP, 26.5 XP; E: cold; Ram's Face Lager, ram horns, ram stick; +80-119 meat)
• Avalanche! (+var. main stat, up to 190-210)
• eXtremely Lost (insanely spicy bean burrito, six pack of Mountain Stream, bag of Cheat-Os)
• The Source (unrefined Mountain Stream syrup)

An Incredibly Strange Place

True to its name, An Incredibly Strange Place is rather different from most adventure areas. See AstralMushrooms for more details.

(1) Bad Trip

• Monster: Swarm of Country Bats (20 HP, [4 XP]; orange-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Trippy Floating Head "foul stench" (20 HP, [4 XP]; pink-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Trippy Floating Head "not Todd" (20 HP, [4 XP]; green-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Trippy Floating Head "organized religion" (20 HP, [4 XP]; blue-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Zombie Baby (20 HP, [4 XP]; purple-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Violet Fog (continue until reaching one of the following exits)
• at She's So Unusual "food-related", choose Accept the fish (munchies pill)
• at She's So Unusual "herbs or medicines", choose Accept the fish (homeopathic healing powder)
• at She's So Unusual "alcohol-related", choose Accept the fish (ice stein)
• at The Prince of Wishful Thinking "stronger in body", choose Accept the training (+var. Mus)
• at The Prince of Wishful Thinking "mystical underpinnings", choose Accept the training (+var. Mys)
• at The Prince of Wishful Thinking "lacking in charm", choose Accept the training (+var. Mox)
• at The Big Scary Place "headgear", choose Take the hat (Cerebral Cloche)
• at The Big Scary Place "garment", choose Take the garment (Cerebral Culottes)
• at The Big Scary Place "weapon", choose Take the weapon (Cerebral Crossbow)
• at anywhere else, choose Escape (nothing)

(2) Mediocre Trip

• Monster: Best Carpet Ever (50 HP, [10-11 XP]; purple-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Feeling That You're Being Watched (50 HP, [10-11 XP]; pink-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Really Interesting Wallpaper (50 HP, [10-11 XP]; green-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Urge to Stare at Your Hands (50 HP, [10-11 XP]; blue-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Visible Music (50 HP, [10-11 XP]; orange-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Violet Fog (as above)

(3) Great Trip

• Monster: Angels of Avalon (150 HP, [29 XP]; blue-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Bustle in the Hedgerow (150 HP, [29 XP]; green-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Elders of the Gentle Race (150 HP, [29 XP]; purple-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Gathering of Angels? (150 HP, [29 XP]; orange-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Monster: Higher Plane Serpents (150 HP, [29 XP]; pink-frosted astral cupcake; +0 meat)
• Violet Fog (as above)

The Inexplicable Door / 8-Bit Realm

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: Blooper (15 ± 0 HP, 6.25 XP; E: none; 3 white pixels; +0 meat)
• Monster: Bullet Bill (15 ± 0 HP, 6.25 XP; E: none; 3 black pixels; +0 meat)
• Monster: Buzzy Beetle [post-ascension only] (15 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: none; black pixel, red pixel, white pixel; +0 meat)
• Monster: Goomba [pre-ascension only] (15 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: none; black pixel, red pixel, white pixel; +0 meat)
• Monster: Keese (15 ± 0 HP, 6.25 XP; E: none; 3 blue pixels; +0 meat)
• Monster: Koopa Troopa (15 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: none; black pixel, green pixel, white pixel; +0 meat)
• Monster: Octorok (15 ± 0 HP, 6.25 XP; E: none; 3 red pixels; +0 meat)
• Monster: Tektite (15 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: none; black pixel, blue pixel, white pixel; +0 meat)
• Monster: Zol (15 ± 0 HP, 6.25 XP; E: none; 3 green pixels; +0 meat)
• (SR) Some Bricks Do, In Fact, Hang in the Air (fire flower)

Itznotyerzitz Mine

Undisguised:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Either Ore (linoleum ore, asbestos ore, chrome ore)
• 10-LEAF CLOVER: A Real Gem (stone of eXtreme power)
• Monster: 7-Foot Dwarf "moil" (40 ± 2 HP, 13.25 XP; E: none; 7-Foot Dwarven mattock, miner's helmet, miner's pants; +33-48 meat)
• Monster: 7-Foot Dwarf "Royale" (40 ± 2 HP, 13.25 XP; E: none; 7-Foot Dwarven mattock, miner's helmet, miner's pants; +33-44 meat)
• Monster: 7-Foot Dwarf Foreman (50 ± 2 HP, 14.25 XP; E: none; 7-Foot Dwarven mattock, miner's helmet, miner's pants; +50-67 meat)
• 100% Legal (choose one of the following options)
• Demand loot (miner's helmet)
• Ask for ore (miner's pants)
• Say you'll keep quiet for free (+100 meat)
• A Flat Miner (choose one of the following options)
• Loot the dwarf's belongings (miner's pants)
• Hijack the Meat vein (7-Foot Dwarven mattock)
• Help the dwarf (+100 meat)
• A Girl's Best Friend (+10 Mox, +100 meat)
• Grilling the Foreman (+10 Mys, +100 meat)
• (T) Right in the Vestibule! (safety vest)
• See You Next Fall (choose one of the following options)
• Give 'im the stick (miner's helmet)
• DOOOOON'T GIVE 'IM THE STICK! (7-Foot Dwarven mattock)
• Negotiate for a reward (+100 meat)
• Speak, Frat Boy, and Enter (+10 Mus, +100 meat)

Disguised:

When disguised in the MiningGear, you may mine inside Itznotyerzitz Mine. You may only mine in squares adjacent to an open section (the squares at the bottom, or squares which you have already mined). At any time, you may choose to start a new cavern.

Only squares which sparkle contain something; non-sparkly squares contain nothing. (Note that only squares which are currently open to you will sparkle, so as you get deeper in the mine, you'll notice more sparkly squares. The Object Detection effect, however, allows you to see all sparkly squares whether you're adjacent to them or not.) There are precisely 4 of each ore (asbestos, chrome, and linoleum) in each cavern. The four ores of a given type will all be connected together, so if you find one linoleum ore, the other three will be nearby. Note that the ores tend to be back in the cave (usually the back three rows, though there are occasionally ores in the third row), so if you want to avoid cave-ins, you should avoid sparkly squares in the front couple of rows.

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Among the pile of tailings is a strange stone (stone of eXtreme power)
• An inexpert swing of your Mattock causes a tremendous cave-in (-approx. 80%-120% HP)
• You carve out a chunk of linoleum ore (linoleum ore)
• You cut away some rock (nothing)
• You excavate a sizable piece of asbestos ore (asbestos ore)
• You recover a blinding sample of chrome ore (chrome ore)
• You stumble upon a vein of meat (3 meat stacks)

The Lair of the Naughty Sorceress

(1) The Hedge Maze

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: topiary golem (150 HP, [36 XP]; hedge maze puzzle; +0 meat)

(2) The Sorceress's Tower, all levels

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: random monster (100000 HP, [40 XP]; +0 meat)

(3) The Sorceress' Chamber, First Battle

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: Shadow Seal Clubber/Turtle Tamer/Pastamancer/Sauceror/Disco Bandit/Accordion Thief (95 HP, 300 XP; +0 meat)

(4) The Sorceress' Chamber, Last Battle

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: Naughty Sorceress (300 HP, [300 XP]; +0 meat)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: Naughty Sorceress (2) (325 HP, [300 XP]; +0 meat)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: Naughty Sorceress (3) (n/a HP, [300 XP]; +0 meat)

Lair of the Ninja Snowmen

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: Ninja Snowman (attacks with carrot or several shuriken) (70 ± 3 HP, 21.25 XP; E: cold; frigid ninja stars, frozen nunchaku, icy katana hilt; +0 meat)
• Monster: Ninja Snowman (attacks with chi or a shuriken) (70 ± 3 HP, 21.25 XP; E: cold; cold ninja mask, frigid ninja stars, frozen nunchaku; +0 meat)
• Monster: Ninja Snowman (on lunch break) (70 ± 3 HP, 21.25 XP; E: cold; chopsticks, frigid ninja stars, rice bowl; +0 meat)
• Monster: Ninja Snowman Janitor (70 ± 3 HP, 20.0 XP; E: cold; frigid ninja stars, ninja mop, pail; +0 meat)
• Monster: Ninja Snowman Weaponmaster (80 ± 4 HP, 22.5 XP; E: cold; frigid ninja stars, (P) frigid mote, frozen nunchaku, ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon; +0 meat)
• (SR) Not Quite as Cold as Ice (bottle of antifreeze)

The Limerick Dungeon

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: "A weathered old chap, name of Hoon ..." (foon)
• "All at once you're approached by an Orc ..." (spork)
• "A creature half-bull and half-man ..." (+5 Mus)
• "In this dungeon, contained in your browser ..." (dungeoneer's dungarees)
• "An insatiable maiden quite foxy ..." (+6 Mox)
• "A lizardman quite apathetic ..." (+4 Mys)
• "A slime puddle of heavy viscosity ..." (+4 Mox)
• "So you meet this gelatinous cube, ..." (+4 Mus)
• "A vampire, ancient and mean ..." (+6 Mys)
• "While poking around in the dungeon, ..." (+6 Mus)
• "A witch, in the Dark Arts astute ..." (+4 Mox)
• "To your battle skills all should give deference ..." (+5 Mox)
• "You encounter a chest full of meat ..." (+30 meat)
• "You encounter a crotchety wizard ..." (+5 Mys)
• "You encounter a fierce-looking giant, ..." (+5 Mys)
• "You encounter the Goblin King's vassal, ..." (tassel)
• "You encounter a sozzled old dragon ..." (+5 Mus)
• "You encounter an unpleasant satyr ..." (+5 Mox)

The Misspelled Cemetary

Before defeating The Bonerdagon:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Only Dust and a Plaque (smart skull, +15 Mus)
• ONCE ONLY: A Grave Mistake [only on The Wizard of Ego quest without grave robbing shovel or rusty grave robbing shovel] (nothing)
• ONCE ONLY: A Grave Situation [only on The Wizard of Ego quest without grave robbing shovel or rusty grave robbing shovel] (Fernswarthy's key, Fernswarthy's letter)
• Monster: ghuol (10 ± 0 HP, 4.75 XP; E: spooky; ghuol ears, ghuol egg; +29-40 meat)
• Monster: grave rober (12 ± 0 HP, 5.5 XP; E: none; coffin lid, dead guy's watch, grave robbing shovel, shysterweed [only on Doc Galaktik's quest] [3 only]; +0 meat)
• Monster: lihc (11 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: spooky; lihc eye; +29-42 meat)
• Monster: skleleton (10 ± 0 HP, 4.5 XP; E: spooky; loose teeth, 2 skeleton bones; +0 meat)
• Monster: Smart Skelton (11 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: spooky; smart skull; +0 meat)
• Monster: zmobie (11 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: spooky; cranberries, loose teeth; +30-43 meat)
• Monster: zobmie (10 ± 0 HP, 4.75 XP; E: spooky; 2 cranberries; +29-38 meat)
• (SR) A Menacing Phantom (poltergeist-in-the-jar-o)

After defeating The Bonerdagon:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Rolling the Bones (smart skull, disembodied brain)
• Monster: corpulent zobmie (as above)
• Monster: gaunt ghuol (as above)
• Monster: gluttonous ghuol (as above)
• Monster: grave rober zmobie (as above)
• Monster: toothy sklelton (as above)
• Monster: senile lihc (as above)
• Monster: slick lihc (as above)
• Monster: spiny skelelton (as above)
• A Grave Mistake (as above)

Mt. Noob

(1) Noob Cave

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: Eureka! (pile of shiny pebbles)
• Adventurer Smash! (+2 Mus)
• Baby Ruth? (+1 Mus)
• Concentrate, Young Adventurer. (+2 Mys)
• Don't Mess with the Bull... (+1 Mox)
• Exactly... what you need... right now... (+1 Mys)
• Heyyyyyy. (+2 Mox)

(2) The Dire Warren

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: fluffy bunny (1 ± 0 HP, 0.25 XP; E: none; bunny liver [only on Toot Oriole's quest] [1 only]; +7-9 meat)

An Oasis

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Some Things Never Change (20 Ultrahydrated effect)
• ONCE ONLY: All Across the Sands (stone rose) [only after A Sietch in Time]
• ONCE ONLY: Blowin' in the Wind (worm-riding manual page 1) [only after passing Walk Without Rhythm]
• ONCE ONLY: Blowin' in the Wind (worm-riding manual page 2) [only after obtaining worm-riding manual page 1]
• ONCE ONLY: Blowin' in the Wind (worm-riding manual pages 3-15) [only after obtaining worm-riding manual page 2]
• Monster: blur (141 ± 5 HP, 34.0 XP; E: none; carbonated water lily, drum machine, hot date, Hugo's Weaving Manual [1 only], palm frond; +98-143 meat)
• Monster: oasis monster (139 ± 5 HP, 33.0 XP; E: none; carbonated water lily, displaced fish, hot date, Hugo's Weaving Manual [1 only], palm frond, Supernova Champagne, wonderwall shield; +80-119 meat)
• Monster: rolling stone (135 ± 5 HP, 34.25 XP; E: none; brown sugar cane, handful of moss, hot date, Hugo's Weaving Manual [1 only], mother's little helper, palm frond, Tuesday's ruby; +0 meat)
• Monster: swarm of scarab beatles (131 ± 5 HP, 34.0 XP; E: spooky; carbonated water lily, happiness, hot date, Hugo's Weaving Manual [1 only], Maxwell's Silver Hammer, mojo filter, palm frond, rocky raccoon, savoy truffle; +142-208 meat)
• Glug, Glug, Glug (5 Ultrahydrated effect) [if not Ultrahydrated already, this adventure will always happen, and it will never happen if you are Ultrahydrated already]

The Obligatory Pirate's Cove

Undisguised:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: Remembarrr the Main [only after receiving I Just Wanna Fly] (Spanish fly trap)
• Monster: sassy pirate (51 ± 2 HP, 15.25 XP; E: none; crowbarrr, flaregun, sunken chest, swashbuckling pants; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: shady pirate (57 ± 2 HP, 16.75 XP; E: none; acoustic guitarrr, barrnacle, safarrri hat; +24-34 meat)
• Monster: shifty pirate (59 ± 2 HP, 17.25 XP; E: none; arrrgyle socks, flaregun, snakehead charrrm, sunken chest; +37-52 meat)
• Monster: smarmy pirate (55 ± 2 HP, 16.25 XP; E: sleaze; bottle of rum, eyepatch, flaregun; Jolly Roger charrrm bracelet; +22-32 meat)
• Monster: swarthy pirate (53 ± 2 HP, 15.75 XP; E: none; leotarrrd, pirate pelvis, stuffed shoulder parrot; +21-29 meat)
• A Dreadful Curse (+15 Mys)
• Amatearrr Night (choose one of the following options)
• What's orange and sounds like a parrot? (stuffed shoulder parrot, -3 HP)
• So a pirate walks into a bar... (+100 meat)
• What's gold and sounds like a pirate? (eyepatch)
• Barrie Me at Sea (choose one of the following options)
• Help Sammy Skillet (stuffed shoulder parrot, -5 meat)
• Help Captain Ladle (swashbuckling pants)
• Help the crocodile (+100 meat)
• Filching the Underwear (+15 Mox)
• The Arrrbitrator (choose one of the following options)
• Vote for Jack Robinson (eyepatch)
• Vote for Sergeant Hook (swashbuckling pants)
• Vote for the Dread Pirate Bob (+100 meat)
• The Beached Boys (+15 Mus)
• (SR) Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Whatever This Is (bottle of pirate juice)

Disguised:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: The Three Arrrs (abridged dictionary)
• A Close Shave (+11 Mox, -5 HP)
• Bring on the Snazz (+12 Mox)
• Gotta Lay Off the Sauce (+2 drunkenness, +15 Mox)
• Out, Brief Candle (3 skeleton bones)
• Shabby (+10 Mox)
• Some Pirates are Hippies (+60 meat)
• Squeak! (+80 meat)
• Squeaky Clean (+11 Mox)
• (T) Taking a Souvenarrrr (pirate shirt)
• The Ivory Crow's Nest (+14 Mox, -10 HP)
• The Shape of Things to Come (+100 meat)
• When You're Bored You're Boring (+10 Mox)
• Zest! (3 spices)

The Orcish Frat House

Undisguised:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Lambda Upsilon Chi Kappa (handful of drink tickets)
• ONCE ONLY: I Just Wanna Fly (begins Spanish Flies quest)
• Monster: Orcish Frat Boy "French Maid's outfit" (30 ± 1 HP, 10.25 XP; E: sleaze; bottle of vodka, deodorant, frilly skirt, homoerotic frat-paddle, ice-cold Sir Schlitz; +24-36 meat)
• Monster: Orcish Frat Boy "likes hot Sorority Orcs" (30 ± 1 HP, 9.75 XP; E: sleaze; deodorant, ice-cold fotie, ice-cold Sir Schlitz, Orcish baseball cap, roofie; +25-36 meat)
• Monster: Orcish Frat Boy "paddling new pledges" (30 ± 1 HP, 10.0 XP; E: sleaze; bottle of gin, deodorant, ice-cold Sir Schlitz, Orcish cargo shorts; +24-36 meat)
• *From Stoked to Smoked (Orcish cargo shorts)
• Lording Over The Flies [only with Spanish flies in inventory] (choose one of the following options)
• Give Him The Flies (1 around the world per 5 Spanish flies traded)
• Keep 'Em (nothing)
• *Murder by Death (homoerotic frat-paddle)
• *Purple Hazers (choose one of the following options)
• Search the pledge (Orcish cargo shorts)
• Examine the hazers (Orcish baseball cap)
• Leave the whole disturbing scene (homoerotic frat-paddle)
• (SR) Sand in the Vaseline (bottle of rhinoceros hormones)
• *Sing This Explosion to Me (Orcish baseball cap)

Disguised:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Lambda Upsilon Chi Kappa (roll of drink tickets)
• (T) 7 High (females only) (loathing eagle baby-doll shirt)
• And Justice for All (+15 Mus)
• Beeeeeeeer! (ice-cold six-pack)
• Bench Warmer (+16 Mus)
• Frat-Gang Warfare (-5 HP, +17 Mus)
• Fratlifting (+16 Mus)
• (T) Get The Windex! (soggy wofl t-shirt)
• It's Not Really Stealing (+100 meat)
• Kegstand! Kegstand! Kegstand! (+3 drunkenness, +20 Mus)
• Naughty Pledge (-10 HP, +18 Mus)
• Roll out the Barrels (+16 Mus)
• The Big Frat House in the Sky (+50 meat)
• The Hazer Becomes the Hazed (+15 Mus, bottle of whiskey)
• White Men Shouldn't Drink (ice-cold Willer)

The Palindome

Like the Typical Tavern, the stat gains and losses in the Palindome are dependent on your primary statistic. The proportionality is higher for the gains which have a higher cap.

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• UNTIL ACCEPTED: Do Geese See God? (choose one of the following options)
• Buy the photograph (500 Meat) (-500 Meat, photograph of God)
• Politely decline (nothing)
• ONCE ONLY: Last Egg Gets Al (hard-boiled ostrich egg)
• UNTIL ACCEPTED: Rod Nevada, Vendor (choose one of the following options)
• Accept (500 Meat) (-500 Meat, hard rock candy)
• Decline (nothing)
• UNTIL PASSED: Drawn Onward [only with appropriate items in inventory] (choose one of the following options)
• Place Items on Shelves (if correct, -all HP, 4 Beaten Up effect, "I Love Me, Vol. I"; if incorrect, nothing)
• Don't Bother (nothing)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Dr. Awkward [only with Mega Gem equipped] (choose one of the following options)
• War, sir, is raw! (Monster: Dr. Awkward (200 ± 0 HP, 124 XP; Staff of Fats, Drowsy Sword; +0 meat)
• Egad! No bondage! (Monster: Dr. Awkward (as above))
• Eva, can I stack Rod's sad-ass, dork cats in a cave? (Monster: Dr. Awkward (as above))

• Look in the drawer (+251-296 meat OR (T) Ye Olde Navy Fleece)
• Ignawer the drawer (nothing)

• Sure! (trade rubber axe for denim axe)
• No thanks. (nothing)

• Dive into the bunker (3 papayas)
• Leap into the fray! (+var. Mus, Mys, and Mox, up to 300, -3 papayas; if you don't have 3 papayas, -60-67 HP)
• Give the men an inspirational soliloquy (+var. Mus, Mys, and Mox, up to 100)

• A little while (+var. Mox, up to 250)
• A medium while (+var. Mox, up to 350 OR +10 Sunburned effect)
• A long while (+10 Sunburned effect)

The Penultimate Fantasy Airship

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: Don't Chew on That Spirit! (Tin Foil Immateria)
• ONCE ONLY: F-F-Fantastic! [requires the 4 Immateria] (Giant Castle Map, S.O.C.K.)
• ONCE ONLY: The Most Absorbent Spirit Ever (Gauze Immateria)
• ONCE ONLY: Rip Rop Wrappety Do (Plastic Wrap Immateria)
• ONCE ONLY: The Spirit of... Gezundheit (Tissue Paper Immateria)
• Monster: Burly Sidekick (100 ± 5 HP, [20.0 XP]; cocoa eggshell fragment, Mohawk wig, tiny house; +109-151 meat)
• Monster: Irritating Series of Random Encounters (110 ± 5 HP, [21.0 XP]; cocoa eggshell fragment, soft green echo eyedrop antidote, tiny house; +112-166 meat)
• Monster: MagiMechTech MechaMech (100 ± 5 HP, [24.0 XP]; glowing red eye, metallic A, oversized pizza cutter, photoprotoneutron torpedo; +0 meat)
• Monster: Protagonist (80 ± 4 HP, [20.0 XP]; phonics down, ridiculously huge sword, super-spikey hair gel; +80-119 meat)
• Monster: Quiet Healer (90 ± 4 HP, [19.0 XP]; amulet of extreme plot significance, scroll of drastic healing, soft green echo eyedrop antidote; +93-137 meat)
• Monster: Spunky Princess (75 ± 3 HP, [18.0 XP]; cocoa eggshell fragment, tiny house, titanium assault umbrella; +93-130 meat)
• (T) Hammering the Armory (choose one of the following options)
• Dig through the stuff (bronze breastplate)
• Blow this popsicle stand (nothing)
• Treasure! (Penultimate Fantasy chest)

The Road to the White Citadel

The Sewer

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Sewer Luck! (choose exactly three of: seal-clubbing club, seal tooth, helmet turtle, turtle totem, pasta spoon, ravioli hat, saucepan, spices, disco mask, disco ball, stolen accordion, mariachi pants, worthless trinket)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (disco ball)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (disco mask)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (helmet turtle)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (mariachi pants)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (pasta spoon)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (ravioli hat)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (saucepan)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (seal tooth)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (seal-clubbing club)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (spices)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (stolen accordion)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (turtle totem)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (worthless gewgaw)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (worthless knick-knack)
• Fishing Around in the Sewer (worthless trinket)

The Shore, Inc. Travel Agency

(1) Distant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• An Unladen Buzzard (3 coconut shells)
• Bang! (stick of dynamite)
• Give 'em Enough Rope (+var. Mus)
• In the Desert (+var. Mus)
• The Luckiest Vacation ever (ten-leaf clover)
• Man Down at the Hoedown (+var. Mus)
• The Reckonin' (+var. Mus)
• Roadblocker (+var. Mus)
• (T) Singin' the Same Old Song (rhinestone cowboy shirt)
• Testing Grounds, 1... 2... 3... (anticheese)

(2) Tropical Paradise Island Getaway

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• A Beach (2 ice-cold six-packs)
• A Fateful Trip (+var. Mys)
• A Flaming Encounter (+var. Mys)
• The Great Ess Capay (3 little paper umbrellas)
• Is it Schizoid Paranoia? (tropical orchid)
• On a Deserted Desert Island, with No Dessert (+var. Mys)
• Putting Your Foot on the Peddler (3 valuable trinkets)
• A Tubular Vacation (+var. Mys)
• With just 7MP, I can make you a man! (+var. Mys)

(3) Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• An Abominable Encounter (2 abominable snowcones, +300-470 meat)
• The Dinner Party (+var. Mox)
• An eXtreme Vacation (+var. Mox)
• (T) A Licky Boom Boom Down (souvenir ski t-shirt)
• A Lucky Break (+var Mox, cast)
• A Moot Adventure (+var. Mox)
• A Sappy Vacation (3 magical ice cubes)
• A Sappy Vacation (3 Ent ciders)
• This mountain is pure snow! (+var. Mox)
• Wired at the Ski Resort (barbed-wire fence)

The Sleazy Back Alley

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Lucky You, Unlucky Hobo (3 ice-cold foties)
• ONCE ONLY: Bree-Yark! (+50 meat, +5 Mox)
• ONCE ONLY: Don't Hurt 'Em [only on completion of Hammer Time quest] (Harold's bell)
• ONCE ONLY: Spirit of the Slug Lord (the Slug Lord's map)
• ONCE ONLY: They Tried and Pailed (pail of pretentious paint)
• Monster: big creepy spider (1 HP, [1 XP]; 2 spider webs; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: completely different spider (1 HP, [1 XP]; 2 spider webs; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: drunken half-orc hobo (1 HP, [1 XP]; dirty hobo gloves, Mad Train wine, moxie weed; +0 meat)
• Monster: rushing bum (1 HP, [1 XP]; bum cheek, Mad Train wine, moxie weed; +0 meat)
• Aww, Craps (choose one of the following options)
• Cheat Just a Little (+4-5 Mox)
• Cheat Like Crazy (+30-40 meat, +6-7 Mox OR -2 HP)
• Bilk 'em, Danno (+40-48 meat, +6-7 Mox, +10 Smugness effect OR -all HP)
• Walk Away (nothing)
• Dumpster Diving (choose one of the following options)
• Punch the hobo (Monster: drunken half-orc hobo (as above))
• Rob the hobo (+3-4 meat, +4-5 Mox)
• Look under the hobo (Mad Train wine)
• (Tu) No Man, No Hole (sewer turtle)
• Please, Hammer [disappears once accepted] (choose one of the following options)
• "Sure, I'll help." (Harold's hammer head, Harold's hammer handle; begins Hammer Time quest)
• "Sorry, no time." (nothing)
• "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" (+5-6 Mus)
• The Entertainer (choose one of the following options)
• Put on a classical tragedy (+4-5 Mox)
• Do a musical, instead (+2-4 Mox, +2-4 Mus)
• Try for a science-fiction double feature (+15 meat, +6-8 Mys OR +15 meat)
• Introduce them to avant-garde (nothing)
• Under the Knife (choose one of the following options)
• Yes! I'm trapped in the wrong body! (-500 meat; your character's gender is switched)
• Umm, no thanks. Seriously. (nothing)

South of the Border

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Forget Not That I am an Ass (pack of chewing gum)
• Monster: angry piñata (20 ± 1 HP, 5.5 XP; E: none; pile of candy; +0 meat)
• Monster: handsome mariachi (15 ± 0 HP, 4.25 XP; E: none; bottle of tequila, chorizo taco, handsomeness potion; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: irate mariachi (17 ± 0 HP, 5.0 XP; E: none; bottle of tequila, irate sombrero, mariachi G-string; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: mariachi calavera (30 ± 1 HP, 5.5 XP; E: none; bottle of tequila, (P) calavera concertina, marzipan skull; +0 meat)
• Monster: raging bull (20 ± 1 HP, 6.25 XP; E: none; can of Red Minotaur, pile of jumping beans; +25-36 meat)
• A Chewy Encounter (jabañero-flavored chewing gum, -30 meat)
• A Chewy Encounter (lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum, -30 meat)
• A Chewy Encounter (pickle-flavored chewing gum)
• A Chewy Encounter (tamarind-flavored chewing gum, -30 meat)
• (SR) Filth, Filth, and More Filth (donkey flipbook)
• Finger-Lickin'... Death. (choose one of the following options)
• Bet 500 Meat on Tapajunta Del Maiz (+500 meat or -500 meat)
• Bet 500 Meat on Cuerno De... the other one (-500 meat; chance of poultrygeist)
• Walk away in disgust (nothing)
• La Farmacia de Suenos (Meleegra™ pills)

The Spectral Pickle Factory

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: carnivorous dill plant (180 HP, [40 XP]; 2 dills; +0 meat)
• Monster: ghostly pickle factory worker (180 HP, [40 XP]; 2 ghost cucumbers; +0 meat)
• Monster: vine gar (180 HP, [40 XP]; 2 vinegars; +0 meat)
• Cucumbers of the Damned (+25 Mus)
• The Salt of the Earth (3 brine)
• Uuuuuuunionize! (+25 Mys)
• You Don't Want Fop! (+25 Mox)

The Spooky Forest

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Lucky, Lucky! (bowl of lucky charms)
• ONCE ONLY: Chester Meatpot (+300 meat)
• ONCE ONLY: Rock-a-bye Larva (mosquito larva)
• Monster: bar (5 HP, [1 XP]; bar skin, barskin hat; +12-18 meat)
• Monster: spooky mummy (3 HP, [1 XP]; dried face, spooky shrunken head; +8-12 meat)
• Monster: spooky vampire (2 HP, [1 XP]; (T) vampire cape, vampire heart [only with wooden stakes equipped]; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: triffid (6 HP, [1 XP]; moxie weed, spooky stick; +0 meat)
• Monster: warwelf (2 HP, [1 XP]; +10-14 meat)
• Monster: wolfman (2 HP, [1 XP]; +8-11 meat)
• A Three-Tined Fork (choose one of the following options)
• Take the normal path (proceed to Footprints)
• Take the scorched path (proceed to A Pair of Craters)
• Take the dark path (proceed to The Road Less Visible)
• Footprints (choose one of the following options)
• Follow the single set to the copse (seal-clubbing club, seal tooth)
• Follow the double set to the other copse (helmet turtle, turtle totem)
• A Pair of Craters (choose one of the following options)
• Investigate the smoking crater (pasta spoon, ravioli hat)
• Investigate the moist crater (saucepan, spices)
• The Road Less Visible (choose one of the following options)
• Continue down the path (disco mask, disco ball)
• Investigate the bushes (stolen accordion, mariachi pants)
• An Interesting Choice (choose one of the following options)
• Interview the vampire (+5-10 Mox)
• Interrogate the vampire (+5-10 Mus)
• Inter the vampire (Monster: spooky vampire (as above))
• Gravy Ring (3 spooky mushrooms)
• Have a Heart [only with vampire hearts in inventory] (choose one of the following options)
• Give him all of your hearts (1 bottle of used blood per vampire heart traded)
• "Maybe later." (nothing)
• Maps and Legends (choose one of the following options)
• Make a copy of the map (Spooky Temple map [you will not see this adventure again])
• Ignore the monolith (nothing [you will not see this adventure again])
• Hit a monkey with a bone (nothing)
• Radio Decomposer (+50 meat)
• *Spooky Sapling (spooky sapling)
• *Spooky-Gro (Spooky-Gro Fertilizer)
• *Vampire Hunter G (wooden stakes)

Spookyraven Manor

(1) The Haunted Gallery

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: With a Clatter (+283-322 Mus)
• Monster: cubist bull (110 ± 5 HP, [21.0 XP]; broken sword; +163-236 meat)
• Monster: empty suit of armor (120 ± 5 HP, [23.0 XP]; antique greaves, antique helmet, antique shield, antique spear; +0 meat)
• Monster: guy with a pitchfork, and his wife (120 ± 5 HP, [22.0 XP]; pitchfork; +81-119 meat)
• Louvre It or Love It (choose one of the following options)
• Enter the drawing (enter the gallery maze; see GalleryMaze for more details. Continue until reaching one of the following exits)
• Luncheon on the Grass (Manetwich)
• Luncheon of the Boating Party (Pinot Renoir)
• Bedroom at Arles (bottle of Vangoghbitussin)
• The Hay Wain (+var. Mus, up to 300)
• Starry Night (+var. Mys, up to 200)
• Dogs Playing Poker (+var. Mox, up to 200)
• Pass on by (nothing)
• Out in the Garden (choose one of the following options)
• The first knight (with tattered wolf standard, receive Snarl of the Timberwolf skill [once only]; otherwise, Monster: knight [wolf] (130 ± 5 HP, [23.0 XP]; lupine sword, snarling wolf shield; +0 meat))
• The second knight (with tattered snake standard, receive Spectral Snapper skill [once only]; otherwise, Monster: knight [snake] (130 ± 5 HP, [23.0 XP]; serpentine sword, snake shield; +0 meat))
• The two maidens (without Dreams and Lights effect: +9 Dreams and Lights effect; with Dreams and Lights effect: -20-29 HP)

(2) The Haunted Billiards Room

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Give me Your Nine (9-ball)
• ONCE ONLY: That's your cue (pool cue)
• Monster: chalkdust wraith (10 ± 0 HP, [4.0 XP], resists physical attacks; handful of hand chalk; +0 meat)
• Monster: pooltergeist (25 ± 1 HP, [4.0 XP]; 1-ball, 2-ball, 3-ball, 4-ball, 5-ball, 6-ball, 7-ball, 8-ball; +0 meat)
• Minnesota Incorporeals [only with pool cue equipped] (choose one of the following options)
• Break (+50 Mox)
• Let the ghost break ("Broken"; choose one of the following options)
• Go for a solid ("A Hustle Here, a Hustle There"; choose one of the following options)
• Go for the 8-ball (without Chalky Hand effect: nothing; with Chalky Hand effect: Spookyraven library key [once only])
• Play defensively (+50 Mys)
• Chicken out (nothing)
• Go for a stripe (+50 Mus)
• Go for a walk (nothing)
• Run away (nothing)

(3) The Haunted Library

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Dust to Dust (+var. Mys, up to 100)
• Monster: banshee librarian (69 ± 3 HP, [11.4 XP]; disintegrating quill pen; +0 meat)
• Monster: bookbat (55 ± 2 HP, [10.2 XP]; tattered scrap of paper; +0 meat)
• Monster: writing desk (62 ± 3 HP, [10.6 XP]; disintegrating quill pen, inkwell, snifter of thoroughly aged brandy; +0 meat)
• Melvil Dewey Would Be Ashamed (choose one of the following options)
• Hork the gray-bound volume (Necrotelicomnicon)
• Yoink the green-bound tome (Cookbook of the Damned)
• Gaffle the purple-bound book (Sinful Desires)
• Leave without taking anything (nothing)
• Take a Look, it's in a Book! (choose one of the following options)
• Read "The Rise of the House of Spookyraven" ("History Is Fun!"; choose one of the following options)
• Read Chapter 1: The Arrival (learn about Lord Spookyraven's origins)
• Read Chapter 2: The Manor (learn about the origin of Spookyraven Manor)
• Read Chapter 3: Things Get Weird (learn about Lord Spookyraven's dabbling in Ancient Forbidden Unspeakable Evil)
• Read "The Better Haunted Homes and Conservatories Cookbook" (learn a random cooking recipe)
• Read "Ancient Forbidden Unspeakable Evil, a Love Story" ("Naughty, Naughty..."; choose one of the following options)
• Read Chapter 1: Tuesdays with Abhorrent Fiends (+75 Mys)
• Read Chapter 2: The Nether Planes on 350 Meat a Day (+75 Mox)
• Read Chapter 3: Twisted, Curdled, Corrupt Energy and You (with English to A. F. U. E. Dictionary, receive Fearful Fettucini skill [Pastamancers] or Scarysauce skill [Saucerors] [once only]; otherwise, -11-14 HP)
• Reading is for losers. I'm outta here. (nothing)
• secret option: Click the third book from the left on the top shelf (opens up staircase to second floor, once only)
• Take a Look, it's in a Book! (choose one of the following options)
• Read "The Fall of the House of Spookyraven" ("History Is Fun!"; choose one of the following options)
• Read Chapter 1: Things Get Weirder (learn about Lord Spookyraven's downfall)
• Read Chapter 2: Stephen and Elizabeth (learn about the pet cemetary and the gallery)
• Read Chapter 3: Last Days (learn about the disappearance of the Spookyravens)
• Read "To Serve Man... Delicious Cocktails" (learn a random cocktailcrafting recipe)
• Read "Ancient Forbidden Unspeakable Yoga, a Beginner's Guide" (+75 Mus, -10-12 HP)
• Reading is for losers. I'm outta here. (nothing)
• secret option: Click the third book from the left on the top shelf (opens up staircase to second floor, once only)

(4) The Haunted Conservatory

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Sweeping up the Skeleton Bones (pile of dusty animal bones)
• ONCE ONLY: Polo Tombstone [only after reading Chapter 2 of "The Fall of the House of Spookyraven"] (Spookyraven gallery key)
• Monster: anglerbush (10 ± 0 HP, [1.4 XP]; meat stack; +0 meat)
• Monster: confused goth music student (9 ± 0 HP, [1.8 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: man-eating plant (9 ± 0 HP, [1.4 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: skeletal cat (8 ± 0 HP, [1.8 XP]; pile of dusty animal bones; +0 meat)
• Monster: skeletal hamster (7 ± 0 HP, [1.6 XP]; pile of dusty animal bones; +0 meat)
• Monster: skeletal monkey (8 ± 0 HP, [1.8 XP]; pile of dusty animal bones; +0 meat)
• (Tu) Turtles of the Universe (skeletortoise)

(5) The Haunted Kitchen

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Nicebox (brains casserole, leftovers of indeterminate origin, ancient frozen dinner)
• Monster: demonic icebox (5 ± 0 HP, [1 XP]; ancient frozen dinner, leftovers of indeterminate origin; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: paper towelgeist (6 ± 0 HP, [1 XP]; cardboard katana; +0 meat)
• Monster: possessed silverware drawer (6 ± 0 HP, [1 XP]; corn holder, eggbeater, shiny butcherknife [only by fleeing; once only]; +0 meat)
• Monster: skullery maid (4 ± 0 HP, [1 XP]; bottle of popskull, dishrag; +4-6 meat)
• Monster: zombie chef (4 ± 0 HP, [1 XP]; chef's hat, fricasseed brains, stale baguette; +6-8 meat)

(6) The Haunted Pantry: see the Haunted Pantry

(7) The Haunted Bedroom

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: animated nightstand (white) (180 ± 5 HP, [31.8 XP]; grouchy restless spirit; +0 meat)
• Monster: animated nightstand (mahogany) (170 ± 5 HP, [32.4 XP]; half of a memo [1 only], old coin purse, old leather wallet; +0 meat)
• One Nightstand (simple white) (choose one of the following options)
• Look in the top drawer (old leather wallet)
• Look in the bottom drawer (+var. Mus, up to 200)
• Kick it and see what happens (Monster: animated nightstand (white) (as above))
• One Nightstand (fine mahogany) (choose one of the following options)
• Check the top drawer (old coin purse)
• Check the bottom drawer (Monster: animated nightstand (mahogany) (as above))
• Look under the nightstand (with Lord Spookyraven's spectacles equipped: tattered wolf standard [Seal Clubbers only] OR tattered snake standard [Turtle Tamers only] OR English to A. F. U. E. Dictionary [Pastamancers and Saucerors only] OR bizarre illegible sheet music [Disco Bandits and Accordion Thieves only] [once only]; otherwise, nothing)
• One Nightstand (costume jewelry) (choose one of the following options)
• Check the top drawer (+var. Mox, up to 200)
• Check the bottom drawer (Spookyraven ballroom key [only after opening the top drawer] (once only))
• Investigate the jewelry (Monster: remains of a jilted mistress (145 ± 5 HP, [32.8 XP]; antique hand mirror, chintzy seal pendant [Seal Clubbers only], chintzy turtle brooch [Turtle Tamers only], chintzy noodle ring [Pastamancers only], chintzy saucepan earring [Saucerors only], chintzy disco ball pendant [Disco Bandits only], chintzy accordion pin [Accordion Thieves only]; +0 meat))
• One Nightstand (ornately carved) (choose one of the following options)
• Open the top drawer (+403-579 Meat)
• Open the bottom drawer (+var. Mys, up to 200)
• Look behind the nightstand (Lord Spookyraven's spectacles [once only])

(8) The Haunted Bathroom

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: That's a Tidy Bowl, Man! (+var. Mys, up to 320)
• ONCE ONLY: Off the Rack (towel)
• Monster: claw-foot bathtub (100 ± 5 HP, [18.0 XP]; fancy bath salts, bottle of Monsieur Bubble; +0 meat)
• Monster: malevolent hair clog (85 ± 4 HP, [19.0 XP]; gob of wet hair; +0 meat)
• Monster: toilet papergeist (105 ± 5 HP, [17.6 XP]; cardboard wakizashi, roll of toilet paper; +0 meat)
• Don't Hold a Grudge (+120-130 Mus)
• Don't Hold a Grudge (+180-220 Mys)
• Don't Hold a Grudge (+120-130 Mox)
• Having a Medicine Ball (choose one of the following options)
• Gaze deeply into the mirror (+var. Mox, up to 150 without an antique hand mirror; +var. Mys, up to 200 with an antique hand mirror)
• Open it and see what's inside ("Bad Medicine is What You Need"; choose one of the following options)
• Take the cough syrup (antique bottle of cough syrup)
• Take the hair oil (tube of hair oil)
• Take the vitamins (bottle of ultravitamins)
• Take off (nothing)
• Say "Guy made of bees." (every fifth time: Monster: guy made of bees (approx. 100000 HP, approx. [40 XP]; guy made of bee pollen [disappears once defeated]); +0 meat; otherwise, nothing)

(9) The Haunted Ballroom

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Forward to the Past (+var. Mox, up to 320)
• ONCE ONLY: We'll All Be Flat (open Spookyraven Manor Wine Cellar) [only with your father's MacGuffin diary]
• Monster: floating platter of hors d'ouvres (120 ± 5 HP, [22.0 XP]; desiccated apricot, dehydrated caviar, flute of flat champagne, hors d'oeuvre tray; +0 meat)
• Monster: tapdancing skeleton (120 ± 5 HP, [22.0 XP]; tap shoes, worn tophat; +0 meat)
• Monster: zombie waltzers (120 ± 5 HP, [22.0 XP]; dance card, ballroom blintz; +80-118 meat)
• Curtains (choose one of the following options)
• Investigate the organ (with bizarre illegible sheet music, receive Tango of Terror [Disco Bandits] or Dirge of Dreadfulness [Accordion Thieves] [once only]; otherwise, Monster: ghastly organist (120 ± 5 HP, [22.0 XP]; opera mask; +82-120 meat))
• Watch the dancers (+var. Mox, up to 150)
• Pay no attention to the stuff in front of the curtain (nothing)
• Rotting Matilda [4 turns after using a dance card] (+var. Mox, up to 320)
• Strung-Up Quartet (choose one of the following options)
• "Play 'Provare Compasione Per El Sciocco'" (+5 monster level)
• "Play 'Sono Un Amanten Non Un Combattente'" (fewer combat adventures)
• "Play 'Le Mie Cose Favorite'" (more item drops)
• "Play nothing, please." (nothing; cancels any current song)

(10) Wine Racks

• Monster: possessed wine rack (165 ± 5 HP, 39.5 XP; E: spooky; dusty bottle of Marsala, dusty bottle of Merlot, dusty bottle of Muscat, dusty bottle of Pinot Noir, dusty bottle of Port, dusty bottle of Zinfandel; +0 meat)
• Monster: skeletal sommelier (162 ± 5 HP, 42.0 XP; E: spooky; dusty bottle of Marsala, dusty bottle of Merlot, dusty bottle of Muscat, dusty bottle of Pinot Noir, dusty bottle of Port, dusty bottle of Zinfandel; +81-120 meat)

(11) Summoning Chamber

• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: Lord Spookyraven (? HP, ? XP; Eye of Ed, Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet; +0 meat)

St. Sneaky Pete's Day Stupor

• A Concerned Citizen (-5 HP, -50 meat)
• A Mean Drunk (-10 HP)
• Coyote Ugly (+5 Gnawed-Off Arm effect)
• Dangerously Inappropriate (males only) (-5 Mus)
• It's Japanese for "Can't Sing" (-10 HP, tomato)
• Off The Rail (-10 HP)
• Quite a Joke (-10 HP)
• Reach Out and Offend Someone (-15 meat, -5 Mox)
• Screwed (portable corkscrew)
• Tall Tales and Low Blows (-10 HP)
• The Unkindest Cut (nothing)
• Watch Where You're Going, Jerk! (-5 Mus)
• What Is This, Some Kind of Joke? (nothing)
• What Would You Do for Some Worthless Crap (females only) (one of: string of blue beads, string of green beads, string of red beads)

The Thatched-Roof Casino

Goat Party Slot: Each slot has a goat, a bean, an olive, and a jug. Any combination beginning with 1 olive wins 5 meat and any combination beginning with 2 olives wins 15 meat. Three olives wins 25 meat, three beans wins 50 meat, three goats wins 100 meat, and three jugs wins 150 meat. All other combinations are losers.

Pirate Party Slot: Each slot has a chest, lips, a parrot, a skull, and a skull and crossbones. A combination beginning with 1 olive wins 10 meat and a combination beginning with 2 skulls wins 20 meat. Three skulls are 50, three parrots are 100, 3 skulls and crossbones are 150, 3 lips are 250, and 3 chests are 500. All other combinations are losers. (Thanks to Neenie2, darcon111, and Le Grande Arbor for sending in combinations I didn't have.)

(1) Lemon Party Slot (-10 meat)

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: a horrible grinding noise (big rock)
• If you spin three fruit symbols of one type, win three fruit of that type (cherry, jumbo olive, lemon, lime, orange).
• If you spin exactly two fruit symbols of one type, win one fruit of that type (cherry, jumbo olive, lemon, lime, orange).

(2) The Roulette Tables (-10 meat)

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: The Luckiest Gambler (+320 meat)
• Getting up to Roulette Didos (+30 meat)
• Roulette Antics (+10 meat)
• Roulette Goings-On (nothing)
• Roulette Grabassing (ice-cold Sir Schlitz, +10 meat)
• Roulette Hijinks (+50 meat)
• Roulette Mischief (+40 meat)
• Roulette Monkeyshines (nothing)
• Roulette Shenanigans (+20 meat)
• Roulette Tomfoolery (nothing)

(3) The Poker Room (-30 meat)

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: A Motor in your Head (+300 meat, +20 Mox)
• Cards with Bards (+50 meat)
• Drunken Halfling Poker (nothing)
• Monkey. Monkey card. (+20 meat)
• Ninja Poker (sweet ninja sword, +30 meat)

Money Making Game

In the Money Making Game, you can make bets against other players. The bets are resolved by a simple coin flip, and the winner gets all the money (minus the house's cut, which appears to be 0.1%). If you have a ten-leaf clover, the game will mention you clutching it during the action, but it is unclear if this actually does anything other than make you feel better.

The Typical Tavern

See TypicalTavern for more details on how the Typical Tavern quest works.

The Tavern Cellar (during quest):

• Monster: drunken rat (8 ± 0 HP, 2.5 XP; E: none; rat appendix, rat whisker; +8-12 meat)
• Monster: Baron Von Ratsworth (var. HP, var. XP; Baron Von Ratsworth's monocle; +0 meat)
• Getting the Spins (bottle of rum OR bottle of gin OR bottle of tequila OR bottle of vodka OR bottle of whiskey)
• Gleaming the Cube (boxed wine)
• Man'sh Besht Friend (ice-cold Sir Schlitz)
• Raternal Bonds (ice-cold fotie)
• The Cask at Hand (random Advanced Cocktailcrafting drink)
• This Song is for the Rats (ice-cold Willer)
• Tucking in the Friar (ice-cold Willer)
• Yaaaaay, beer! (ice-cold Sir Schlitz)

After quest completed:

Note that the stat gains are proportional to your primary statistic. They are capped at -50 for the losses, +100 for the 1-drunkenness adventures, and +250 for the 2-drunkenness adventures.

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• A guy walks up to you at a bar... (2 beer lenses)
• Bad Ideas Abound (+1 drunkenness, -100 meat, -var. Mus)
• Karmic Darts (+2 drunkenness, +var. Mys)
• Kegstand! (+2 drunkenness, +var. Mus)
• Knock Knock... (+2 drunkenness, +var. Mox)
• Moxious! (+1 drunkenness, -50 meat, +var. Mox)
• Over the Top (+1 drunkenness, -50 meat, +var. Mus)
• Some Enchanted Evening (+1 drunkenness, -100 meat, -var. Mys)
• Stupid Drunk Tricks (+1 drunkenness, -50 meat, +var. Mys)
• Unmoxed. (+1 drunkenness, -100 meat, -var. Mox)

The Valley Beyond the Orc Chasm

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• Monster: 1335 HaXx0r (71 ± 3 HP, [16.2 XP]; 1337 7r0uZ0RZ, 334 scroll, Dyspepsi-Cola; +24-36 meat)
• Monster: Anime Smiley (67 ± 3 HP, [15.4 XP]; 334 scroll, Tasty Fun Good rice candy; +0 meat)
• Monster: Flaming Troll (73 ± 3 HP, [16.6 XP]; flaming talons, Trollhouse cookies; +32-48 meat)
• Monster: Lamz0r N00b (69 ± 3 HP, [15.8 XP]; 33398 scroll, draggin' ball hat; +25-36 meat)
• Monster: me4t begZ0r (77 ± 3 HP, [17.4 XP]; meat vortex; +0 meat)
• Monster: Spam Witch (75 ± 3 HP, [17.0 XP]; 30669 scroll, Spam Witch sammich; +24-36 meat)
• Monster: XXX pr0n (68 ± 3 HP, [15.0 XP]; f3d0r4, lowercase N, pr0n legs; +24-36 meat)

Whitey's Grove

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• ONCE ONLY: It's A Sign! (opens Road to the White Citadel)
• Monster: Knight in White Satin (21 ± 1 HP, 9.5 XP; E: none; white satin pants, white satin shield, white sword; +24-35 meat)
• Monster: white chocolate golem (21 ± 1 HP, 9.25 XP; E: none; white chocolate chips; +0 meat)
• Monster: white lion (21 ± 1 HP, 9.0 XP; E: none; catgut; +25-36 meat)
• Monster: whitesnake (21 ± 1 HP, 8.75 XP; E: none; white snake skin; +8-12 meat)
• Don't Fence Me In (choose one of the following options)
• Whitewash the fence (+20-30 Mus)
• Steal the fence (white picket fence)
• Jump the fence (piece of wedding cake)
• (T) Hack to the Future (white hat hacker T-shirt)
• (SR) Monty of County Crisco (bag of lard)
• Rapido! (choose one of the following options)
• Steer for the cave (+20-30 Mys)
• Steer for the trees (3 white lightning)
• Steer for the laundromat (white collar)
• The Only Thing About Him is the Way That He Walks
• Show him some moves (+20-30 Mox)
• Show him a good time (3 boxed wine)
• Show him how easy it is to steal all of his stuff (mullet wig)

Zoneless Monsters

These are monsters which are not tied to any particular zone, but rather appear under some other conditions.

CLEESH monsters: When you use the CLEESH spell, you can turn a monster into one of the following monsters.

• Monster: frog (3 HP, [1 XP]; squashed frog; +8-12 meat)
• Monster: newt (3 HP, [1 XP]; eye of newt; +8-13 meat)
• Monster: salamander (3 HP, [1 XP]; salamander spleen; +8-11 meat)

Inventory monsters: These are combats triggered by using items in inventory. If you attempt to eat a black pudding, sometimes you will end up in combat with one instead. Using a drum machine without worm-riding hooks will bring you a giant sandworm.

• Monster: black pudding (40 HP, [12-13 XP]; +0 meat; black pudding, black pudding)
• Monster: giant sandworm (200 ± 5 HP, 43.75 XP; E: none; +201-293 meat)

Feast of Boris monsters: These monsters randomly appear on the Feast of Boris. They can appear in any area. They scale to approximately your power, although they tend to be slightly weaker.

• Monster: Candied Yam Golem (var. HP, var. XP; candied yams)
• Monster: Malevolent Tofurkey (var. HP, var. XP; tofurkey leg, tofurkey gravy)
• Monster: Possessed Can of Cranberry Sauce (var. HP, var. XP; can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce)
• Monster: Stuffing Golem (var. HP, var. XP; herbal stuffing)

The Bugbear Pens (Muscle sign Ascension area)

Before completing all of Mayor Zapruder's quests:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Faux Fur Pas (bugbear bungguard, bugbear beanie)
• Monster: angry bugbear (12 HP, [3 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: annoying spooky gravy fairy (20 HP, [4 XP]; annoying pitchfork, +0 meat)
• Monster: bugged bugbear (14 HP, [3-4 XP]; gnoll teeth, gnoll lips; +0 meat)
• Monster: mad bugbears (13 HP, [3-4 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: revolting bugbear (10 HP, [2-3 XP]; +0 meat)
• Monster: revolving bugbear (11 HP, [2-3 XP]; +0 meat)

After completing all of Mayor Zapruder's quests:

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Faux Fur Pas (bugbear bungguard, bugbear beanie)
• ONCE ONLY: Bugbear Baker (gingerbread bugbear)
• Beauty Is Only Fur Deep (+10 Mys)
• Deuces Wild (+10 Mox)
• It Doesn't Grow On Trees, You Know! (+75 meat)
• Ma Cherie (+10 Mox)
• Nothin' Up My Sleeve (+10 Mys)
• The Animal Instinct (+50 meat)
• The Right To Bugbear Arms (+10 Mus)
• Wrasslin (+10 Mus)

If wearing a bugbear costume after completing the quests, you can also get:

• ONCE ONLY: One Day in the Life (-10 Adventures)

Warning: It appears that Bugbear Baker and One Day in the Life are mutually exclusive -- you can only get one. So if you want to get the trophy, you have to not to get the Bugbear Baker adventure. If you do get the Bugbear Baker, you're out of luck.

The Spooky Gravy Barrow (Muscle sign Ascension area)

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Stage Fright (spooky lipstick)
• Monster: spooky gravy fairy guard (45 HP, [11 XP]; spooky mushroom, halfberd, small leather glove; +0 meat)
• Monster: spooky gravy fairy ninja (55 HP, [13 XP]; spooky mushroom, teeny-tiny ninja stars, tiny ninja sword; +0 meat)
• Monster: spooky gravy fairy warlock (50 HP, [12 XP]; spooky mushroom, enchanted toothpick; +0 meat)
• ONCE ONLY: Luminosity (inexplicably glowing rock)
• ONCE ONLY: Spooky Wheelbarrow (2 spooky fairy gravy)
• Finding Neverevereverland (+5 Mus, +5 Mys, +5 Mox)
• The following is all one adventure. Once you have defeated Queen Felonia, you don't get it any more.
• Heart of Very, Very Dark Darkness (choose one of the following options)
• Enter the cave (without inexplicably glowing rock: proceed to Darker Than Dark; with rock: proceed to How Depressing)
• Don't enter the cave (nothing)
• Darker Than Dark (choose one of the following options)
• Stumble around blindly (-all HP)
• Leave the cave (nothing)
• How Depressing (choose one of the following options)
• Put your hand in the depression (with spooky glove equipped: proceed to On the Verge of a Dirge; without: nothing)
• Leave (nothing)
• On the Verge of a Dirge (choose one of the following options)
• Enter the chamber (proceed to Queen Felonia)
• Enter the chamber (No Other Possibility.) (proceed to Queen Felonia)
• Enter the chamber (Seriously.) (proceed to Queen Felonia)
• UNTIL DEFEATED: Monster: Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies (approx. 80 HP, [15 XP]; spooky cosmetics bag, spooky bicycle chain; +0 meat)

Outskirts of Camp Logging Camp (Mysticality sign Ascension area)

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Best Served Cold (3 forest tears)
• Monster: axe handle (3 ± 0 HP, 0.75 XP; E: none; pine tar; +0 meat)
• Monster: cloud of disembodied whiskers (3 ± 0 HP, 0.50 XP; E: none; shaving cream; +0 meat)
• Monster: forest spirit (3 ± 0 HP, 0.50 XP; E: spooky; forest tears; +0 meat)
• Monster: poutine ooze (3 ± 0 HP, 0.75 XP; E: none; poutine; +0 meat)
• Jammin' on the Axe (+4 Mus)
• Like Hoofball (+4 Mox)
• The Inverse is Also True (+4 Mys)

Camp Logging Camp (Mysticality sign Ascension area)

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Oot to Lunch (poutine, balaclava baklava, Blatantly Canadian)
• Monster: decent lumberjack (35 ± 1 HP, 8.75 XP; E: none; disbelief suspenders, jack flapper, poutine; +17-23 meat)
• Monster: lumberjack supervisor (40 ± 2 HP, 10.0 XP; E: none; balaclava, balaclava baklava; +25-34 meat)
• Monster: lumberjill (36 ± 1 HP, 9.0 XP; E: none; Blatantly Canadian, maple syrup, (T) supportive bra; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: lumberjuan (35 ± 1 HP, 8.75 XP; E: none; leaflet, los chinos, wooden axe; +16-24 meat)
• Rock and Roll, eh? (+100 meat, +15 Mox)
• Time to Split (+100 meat, +15 Mys)
• What a Tosser! (+100 meat, +15 Mus)

Thugnderdome (Moxie sign Ascension area)

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Gno More Mr. Gnice Guy (Gnomish toolbox)
• Monster: gnarly gnome (35 HP, [7 XP]; clockwork key, flange; +0 meat)
• Monster: gnasty gnome (35 HP, [7 XP]; clockwork key, flange; +0 meat)
• Monster: gnefarious gnome (35 HP, [7 XP]; cog, flange, sprocket; +0 meat)
• Monster: Gnomester Blomester (35 HP, [7 XP]; cog, flange, spring; +0 meat)
• Monster: gnu jack gnome (35 HP, [7 XP]; flange, spring, sprocket; +0 meat)
• Monster: vicious gnauga (40 HP, [9 XP]; gnauga hide; +0 meat)