Subjunctive KoL: TemporalRifts

On the night of October 25, 2005, during rollover, Jick accidentally deleted the database. The Kingdom was down for the days of 10/26 and 10/27 while Jick and crew frantically worked to restore the game from backups. Most of the content had been safely backed up daily, but some content had not been backed up since September 6, principally Hangk's. As a result, many people lost items that they had in storage.

To make up for his error, Jick introduced a bunch of new content. New things appeared in the Kingdom:

• A temporal rift appeared in the Nearby Plains.
• Another temporal rift appeared on the Island.
• A third temporal rift appeared in the Distant Woods.
• A fourth temporal rift appeared on Mt. McLargeHuge.
• The Huge Cannon in Seaside Town was half-destroyed.
• Hangk's itself became mostly-burned-down.
• Uncle P's Antiques returned on the Wrong Side of the Tracks.

Also, on November 1, a new temporal rift appeared in the Council. For more details on this new rift, see ZombieSpoilers. This rift closed on November 7 with the end of the Gray Plague (see also ColumbusDaySpoilers).

On November 17, the temporal rifts began to close. The temporal rifts on the Island and the Woods were the first two to go. The temporal rift on the Plains closed soon afterwards. However, Jick decided to make the Plains temporal rift permanent content for characters of level 4 or 5.

Furthermore, every player received a chunk of petrified time, which (like the Crimbo items) could be smithed to make a helmet, a sword, or pants:

• petrified time (item)
• time helmet (helmet; 100 power, requires 35 moxie; +3 adventures/day)
• time sword (sword; 100 power, requires 35 muscle; +3 adventures/day)
• time trousers (pants; 100 power, requires 35 moxie; +3 adventures/day)

The three time items make an outfit, the TimeTrappings, and tattoo.

What do the temporal rifts do?

• The temporal rift on Mt. McLargeHuge takes you to the Icy Peak in the Recent Past. (Note that you do not need cold resistance to adventure here.) Here, you can see the Icy Peak as it was during the Mafia wars -- there are emaciated Knott Yetis and vicious Mob Penguins. Here's the list of encounters (note that Yeti Protest Signs do not appear to be available):
  • emaciated Knott Yeti (50 HP, 12 XP; yeti fur; +65-88 meat)
  • Mob Penguin Pasta Chef (80 HP, 18 XP; delicious noodles, iron pasta spoon, scroll of pasta summoning; +24-30 meat)
  • Mob Penguin Soprano (90 HP, 19 XP; mafia aria, Mob Penguin cellular phone, support cummerbund; +21-30 meat)
  • Mob Penguin Thug (80 HP, 19 XP; kneecapping stick, penguin skin; +41-59 meat)
• The temporal rift on the Mysterious Island of Mystery takes you to the Island in the As-Yet-Unimplemented Future. And a grim future it is -- the hippies and orcs are replaced by Scorched Earth, and the south part of the island features a Conspicuous Absence of Pirates Cove. Forbidding!
• The temporal rift in the Distant Woods takes you to The Distant Woods, Like, Six Months Ago. The woods are much smaller, but the areas appear to be the same.
• Finally, the temporal rift in the Plains is the most interesting -- it takes you back to the Nearby Plains in the Distant Past. Here, you can see the early beginnings of most of the areas you're familiar with in the present: there's Cobb's Lump, Fernswarthy's Hut, Susie's Cupcake Stand, Degrassi Book Depository, Clown Rock, The Cemetary, The Bat Divot, The Perfectly Ordinary Pickle Factory, and A Battlefield. Most of these areas don't do anything (except be amusing), but the Battlefield allows you to fight in the Cola Wars!

In the Battlefield, you'll get the following adventures (the stat adventures are variable, and capped at +50):

• A Turn of the Coat (+var. Mys)
• Confusing the Issue (+var. Mox)
• Smells Like Team Spirit (choose one of the following options)
• Dyspepsi-Cola (Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues)
• Cloaca-Cola (Cloaca-Cola helmet)
• Don't get involved (+15 Mus)
• The Effervescent Fray (choose one of the following options)
• Listen to the red leader (Cloaca-Cola fatigues)
• Listen to the blue leader (Dyspepsi-Cola shield)
• Don't get involved (+15 Mys)
• The Real Thing (+var. Mus)
• What is it Good For? (choose one of the following options)
• Help the Dyspepsi soldier (Dyspepsi-Cola helmet)
• Help the Cloaca soldier (Cloaca-Cola shield)
• Don't get involved (+15 Mox)

The fatigues, helmet, and shield for each side make an outfit, which you can use to get a tattoo for each side. Furthermore, in disguise, you can get new adventures!

Cloaca Uniform

• Dyspepsi-Cola General (40 HP, 6 XP; 2 Dyspepsi-Cola, Dyspepsi grenade, Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations, 0 Meat)
• Dyspepsi-Cola Knight (35 HP, 6 XP; Dyspepsi-Cola, Dyspepsi grenade, 0 Meat)
• Dyspepsi-Cola Soldier (30 HP, 6 XP, 2 Dyspepsi-Cola, Dyspepsi grenade, 0 Meat)
• Kneatly Knicking the Knapsack (Cloaca-Cola knapsack)

Dyspepsi Uniform

• Cloaca-Cola Catapult Engineer (40 HP, 6 XP; 2 Cloaca-Cola, Cloaca grenade, Cloaca-Cola c-rations, 0 Meat)
• Cloaca-Cola Footsoldier (35 HP, 6 XP; Cloaca-Cola, Cloaca grenade, 0 Meat)
• Cloaca-Cola Soldier (30 HP, 6 XP; 2 Cloaca-Cola, Cloaca grenade, 0 Meat)
• Kneatly Knicking the Knapsack (Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack)

And you can get the following items:

• Cloaca-Cola (combat/usable item; +10-14 MP)
• Cloaca grenade (combat item)
• Cloaca-Cola c-rations (usable; yields 6 Cloaca-Cola)
• Cloaca-Cola fatigues (pants; 30 power)
• Cloaca-Cola helmet (hat; 30 power)
• Cloaca-Cola knapsack (usable; contains one or more of the following: 3 Cloaca grenades, Cloaca-Cola c-rations, Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife, picture of a dead guy's girlfriend)
• Cloaca-Cola shield (accessory; +30 damage absorption)
• Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife (weapon; 30 power, restores 1-2 MP when you do damage with it)
• Dyspepsi-Cola (combat/usable item; +10-14 MP)
• Dyspepsi grenade (combat item)
• Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations (usable; yields 6 Dyspepsi-Cola)
• Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues (pants; 30 power)
• Dyspepsi-Cola helmet (hat; 30 power)
• Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack (usable; contains one or more of the following: 3 Dyspepsi grenades, Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations, Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen, picture of a dead guy's girlfriend)
• Dyspepsi-Cola shield (accessory; +30 damage absorption)
• Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen (accessory; improves MP restoration from cola)
• picture of a dead guy's girlfriend (usable; 1 turn of Rainy Soul Miasma effect)

The canteen doubles the effectiveness of Cloaca-Cola and Dyspepsi-Cola; they restore 20-28 MP when drunk with the canteen.