Subjunctive KoL: RetiredAdventures

Over the history of the Kingdom, many adventures have been added. However, a few have been removed, as well. They are preserved here for posterity.

Icy Peak

The Icy Peak has probably seen the most changes of all areas. In the beginning, only one adventure happened there -- the Knott Yeti. However, as Yeti depopulation increased, a couple of new adventures appeared:

• ONCE ONLY: Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs. And Hippies. (Yeti Protest Sign)
• There are Knott Yetis here... (nothing)

Then, the Mob infiltrated the Icy Peak, and a battle ensued. The full-grown Knott Yetis vanished, and were replaced by these four:

• Monster: emaciated Knott Yeti (50 HP, 12 XP; yeti fur, broken cellular phone; +61-89 meat)
• Monster: A Mob Penguin Pasta Chef (80 HP, 18 XP; delicious noodles, iron pasta spoon, scroll of pasta summoning; +21-30 meat)
• Monster: A Mob Penguin Soprano (90 HP, 19 XP; mafia aria, Mob Penguin cellular phone, support cummerbund; +21-28 meat)
• Monster: A Mob Penguin Thug (80 HP, 19 XP; kneecapping stick, penguin skin; +43-58 meat)

Finally, with the introduction of the breeding pair of Knott Yetis, the Icy Peak returned to the state we see it in today.

During the time of the TemporalRifts, you could travel to the Icy Peak in the Recent Past, where you could fight the four monsters listed above.

The Shore

When the two new cocktail accessories (the coconut shells and magical ice cubes) were introduced, they replaced two adventures in the Shore:

• at the Distant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure: And His Daughter (stone of eXtreme power)
• at the Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort: A Sappy Vacation (Ent cider)

The stone of eXtreme power was later re-introduced by appearing in Itznotyerzitz Mine; the Ent cider remains unavailable to this day.

Fernswarthy's Tower

When the Lesser Fruit Golem was introduced into Fernswarthy's Tower, it bumped out everyone's least-favorite monster in the Tower:

• Monster: giant pair of tweezers (8 HP; +0 meat)

Gray Plague

During the Gray Plague, a few adventures came which offered the prospect of a cure. They disappeared when the Gray Plague was cured. See ColumbusDaySpoilers for more details.

• at the Icy Peak: Altogether Fitting and Proper (blood flower)
• at South of the Border: Questionable Tactics (questionable taco, -30 Meat)
• at the Lemon Party Slot in the Thatched-Roofed Casino: malfunction (happens randomly regardless of what your spin is) (plastic passion fruit)

Later, as the Gray Plague continued to ravage the Kingdom, another temporal rift opened up which allowed Adventurers to travel to Seaside Town, 28 Days Later. This opened up a bunch of new adventures. See ZombieSpoilers for more details.

• Market Square, 28 Days Later
• drunken zombie half-orc hobo (1 HP, 1 XP; dirty hobo gloves, Mad Train wine, moxie weed, zombie pineal gland; +0 meat)
• fiendish zombie can of asparagus (1 HP, 1 XP; asparagus knife, razor-sharp can lid, stalk of asparagus, zombie pineal gland; +4-5 meat)
• zombie Gnollish crossdresser (5 HP, 2-3 XP; frilly skirt, maiden wig, zombie pineal gland; +20-25 meat)
• Zombie Knob Goblin Assistant Chef (1 HP, 1 XP; chef's hat, Knob Goblin pants, Knob Goblin tongs, zombie pineal gland; +7-8 meat)
• zombie yeast beast (8 HP, 3-4 XP; 2 wads of dough, zombie pineal gland; +0 meat)
• The Mall of Loathing, 28 Days Later
• white zombie (21 HP, 7-8 XP; piece of wedding cake, zombie pineal gland; +26-34 meat)
• zombie apathetic lizardman (12 HP, 4 XP; +10 Apathy, zombie pineal gland; 20-22 Meat)
• Zombie Clown (15 HP, 3-4 XP; big red clown nose, bloody clown pants, long skinny balloon, zombie pineal gland; 23-29 Meat)
• zombie frat boy (30 HP, 8-9 XP; bottle of tequila, homoerotic frat-paddle, ice-cold beer, zombie pineal gland; +25-34 Meat)
• zombie hippy (30 HP, 8-9 XP; filthy corduroys, windchimes, zombie pineal gland; +0 meat)
• zombie zmobie (11 HP, 4 XP; loose teeth, cranberries, zombie pineal gland; +35-41 meat)
• The Wrong Side of the Tracks, 28 Days Later
• scary pirate (59 HP, 13-14 XP; charrrm, snakehead charrrm, zombie pineal gland; +40-47 Meat)
• Zombie eXtreme Snowboarding Orc (65 HP, 14-15 XP; Mountain Stream Soda, zombie pineal gland; +38-42 Meat)
• Zombie Goth Giant (150 HP, 26 XP; thin black candle, Warm Subject gift certificate, awful poetry journal, zombie pineal gland; +148-170 Meat)
• Zombie N00b (69 HP, 15-16 XP; 33398 scroll, draggin' ball hat, zombie pineal gland; +31-40 Meat)
• Zombie Quiet Healer (90 HP, 19 XP; scroll of drastic healing, soft green echo eyedrop antidote, zombie pineal gland; +100-111 Meat)

Crimbo Town

Crimbo Town opened up on December 20, 2005 and lasted until January 1, 2006. See CrimboTown for more details. In the Crimbo Town Toy Factory, you could fight either striking elves or strike-breaking reindeer. All of the monsters in Crimbo Town scale to your power, with the elves being slightly weaker and the reindeer slightly stronger.

Without the Unionize the Elves sign equipped:

• ONCE ONLY: Rudolph the Red (Unionize the Elves sign)
• striking Factory-Worker elf (var. HP, var. XP; felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block; +0 Meat)
• striking Gift-Wrapper elf (var. HP, var. XP; felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block; +0 Meat)
• striking Middle-Management elf (var. HP, var. XP; felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block; +0 Meat)
• striking Pencil-Pusher elf (var. HP, var. XP; felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block; +0 Meat)
• striking Stocking-Stuffer elf (var. HP, var. XP; felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block; +0 Meat)

With the Unionize the Elves sign equipped:

• Bashful, the Reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; +var. Meat)
• Doc, the Reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; +var. Meat)
• Dopey, the Reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; +var. Meat)
• Grumpy, the Reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; +var. Meat)
• Happy, the Reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; +var. Meat)
• Sleepy, the Reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; +var. Meat)
• Sneezy, the Reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; +var. Meat)
• Zeppo, the Reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; +var. Meat)

Spooky Forest

The Spooky Forest was rather dramatically revamped April 11, 2006. A large number of old, boring adventures were removed to make way for a more "interactive and streamlined" experience. Here's the retired adventures:

• Alas, poor Merchant (+25 meat)
• Bar! Bar! (+4 Mox)
• Bugbar (+3 Mus)
• *Chester Meatpot (Spooky Temple map)
• Corpse in the Copse (helmet turtle, scroll of turtle summoning)
• Corpse in the Grove (saucepan, spices)
• Druid Poker (+3 Mox, +10 meat)
• Interview with the Vampire. (+3 Mox)
• Spooky Hoard (+20 meat)
• Spooky Tree (spooky stick)
• A Vampire Slayer is You! (+4 Mus)

Many of the adventures survived in somewhat altered form: Chester Meatpot remained but gave a bounty of meat instead; Corpse in the Copse and Corpse in the Grove became results of the new choice adventure A Three-Tined Fork, and Interview with the Vampire became a choice in the new choice adventure An Interesting Choice. The others were cut, probably for simply being too boring.

Degrassi Knoll

• Monster: Gnollish Bodybuilder (5 HP, 2 XP; gnoll lips, gnoll teeth; +16-24 meat)
• Monster: Gnollish Sorceress (5 HP, 2-3 XP; gnoll lips, gnoll teeth; +19-25 meat)

Xenophobe removed these monsters from the Knoll sometime around May 2006. Apparently they were just too boring. See this radio transcript for a brief mention.

Whitey's Grove

When Riff's new guild quest was introduced July 4, 2006, a large number of adventures in Whitey's Grove were purged or changed.

• Be still, my darling... (white lightning)
• Boy howdy, this sure is fun... (+20 Mus)
• Rent-a-fence (white picket fence)
• Start again... (piece of wedding cake)
• Tripping the light fandango (+20 Mys)
• The Tasting (2 boxed wine; +8 Mus)
• The White Castle (White Castle burger)
• The White Castle (White Castle fries)
• White Trash Can (mullet wig)
• Whoah. I know the Funky Chicken. (+20 Mox)

Most of the adventures were merged into outcomes of the new choice adventures in the Grove (Don't Fence Me In, Rapido!, and The Only Thing About Him is the Way That He Walks). The White Castle adventures were eliminated entirely, since they were superseded by the new White Citadel.

St. Sneaky Pete's Day Stupor

The original StSneakyPete's Days yielded traffic cones the day after if you got the To The Rescue adventure. Once the first set of five traffic cones was complete, Antimotion and To The Rescue were replaced by Screwed and The Unkindest Cut, which yielded a blue ribbon.

• Antimotion (cheap plastic bottle opener)
• To The Rescue (nothing)

To get To The Rescue, you must have the cheap plastic bottle opener equipped.

Outskirts of Cobb's Knob / Haunted Pantry / Sleazy Back Alley

These three areas were revamped November 28, 2006. Like many of the other area revampings, some of the adventures were folded into new choice adventures and some were cut entirely.

Outskirts of Cobb's Knob

• A Funny Thing Happened... (+12 meat)
• Knob Goblin BBQ (+5 meat)
• (A) Knob Goblin dilemma (+7 meat)
• Knob Goblin Labor (+2 Mus)
• Knob Goblin Massacre (+2 Mus, +6 meat)
• Knob Goblin Meat Raid (+8 meat)
• Knob Goblin Seamstress (+2 Mus)
• Knob Goblin Tug-Of-War (+3 Mus)
• Little Lost Knob Goblin (strongness elixir)
• Wrestling Match (+2 Mus)

A Funny Thing Happened... was upgraded into a new once-only adventure, while elements of Knob Goblin BBQ, Knob Goblin Labor, and Wrestling Match were placed into some of the new choice adventures. The rest were eliminated.

The Haunted Pantry

>
• The Broken Hammer (+2 Mys)
• Knob Goblin Apprentice Shaman (+2 Mys)
• Knob Goblin Elder (+2 Mys)
• Knob Goblin Puppet Show (+3 Mys)
• Knob Goblin Shaman (+2 Mys)
• (A) Knob Goblin Thief (+10 meat)
• The Matchless Baker (+2 Mys)
• Rogue Goblin (+2 Mys)
• (A) The Singing Tree (+3 Mys)
• Treasure! (+7-9 meat)

The Broken Hammer was upgraded into the new Hammer Time mini-quest in the Sleazy Back Alley, while The Matchless Baker was made into the Baker, Baker mini-quest. Elements of Knob Goblin Apprentice Shaman, Knob Goblin Puppet Show, Knob Goblin Shaman, and The Singing Tree appeared in the new choice adventures. The rest were unceremoniously dumped.

The Sleazy Back Alley

• An Amateur Pickpocket is You! (+1 Mox, +5 meat)
• The Bum's Dilemma (+8 meat)
• Dumpster Diver (+9 meat)
• (A) Hammer Time (+2 Mox)
• Happy Birthday! (+2 Mox)
• Knob Goblin Intrigue (+1 Mox, +7 meat)
• Knob Goblin Philosophy (+2 Mox)
• Knob Goblin Rumble (+3 Mox)
• Meat-Shaped Box (+10 meat)
• Out of Aces (+10 meat)
• (A) A Strike in the Dark/Spared in the Dark (+2 Mox)

Elements of An Amateur Pickpocket is You!, The Bum's Dilemma, Dumpster Diver, Knob Goblin Philosophy, Knob Goblin Rumble, and Out of Aces appeared in the new choice adventures, and Hammer Time was also referenced in the new Hammer Time quest.

Crimboween 2006

Crimboween 2006 was very similar to Crimbo 2005, except that there were three areas which gradually opened up during the month of December. See SaveUncleCrimbo for the details. There were three combat areas: the Simple Tool-Making Cave in Crimbo Rock, the Spooky Fright Factory in Crimbo Town, and the Crimborg Collective Factory in the Crimborg Collective. In all cases the enemies scaled to your power; the cave elves were somewhat weaker than you, the spooky creatures about as strong, and the Crimborg robots stronger.

Simple Tool-Making Cave

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• flint-scraping cave elf (var. HP, var. XP; rock, stick; +0 Meat)
• hunter-gatherer cave elf (var. HP, var. XP; 2 teeth; +0 Meat)
• rock-banging cave elf (var. HP, var. XP; 2 rocks, stick; +0 meat)
• sinew-stretching cave elf (var. HP, var. XP; 2 stringy sinews; +0 meat)

Spooky Fright Factory

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: No effect.
• bow-making mummy (var. HP, var. XP; evil googly eye, spooky felt, spooky length of string, spooky stuffing, spooky toy wheel, spooky wooden block; +0 Meat)
• Cookie-baking Thing from Beyond Time (var. HP, var. XP; evil googly eye, spooky felt, spooky length of string, spooky stuffing, spooky toy wheel, spooky wooden block; +0 Meat)
• gift-wrapping vampire (var. HP, var. XP; evil googly eye, spooky felt, spooky length of string, spooky stuffing, spooky toy wheel, spooky wooden block; +0 Meat)
• skeletal reindeer (var. HP, var. XP; evil googly eye, spooky felt, spooky length of string, spooky stuffing, spooky toy wheel, spooky wooden block; +0 Meat)
• stocking-stuffing zombie (var. HP, var. XP; evil googly eye, spooky felt, spooky length of string, spooky stuffing, spooky toy wheel, spooky wooden block; +0 Meat)
• toy-making creature from the Gray Lagoon (var. HP, var. XP; evil googly eye, spooky felt, spooky length of string, spooky stuffing, spooky toy wheel, spooky wooden block; +0 Meat)

The Crimborg Collective Factory

• 10-LEAF CLOVER: Crates of Plates (3 high-resistance ultrapolymer platings)
• Killer Festive Arc-Welding Elfbot (var. HP, var. XP; capacitor relay, carbon nanotube frame, Feynman gate, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating, ion grid, logic synthesizer; +0 Meat)
• Killer Festive Decal-Applying Elfbot (var. HP, var. XP; capacitor relay, carbon nanotube frame, Feynman gate, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating, ion grid, logic synthesizer; +0 Meat)
• Killer Festive Laser-Calibrating Elfbot (var. HP, var. XP; capacitor relay, carbon nanotube frame, Feynman gate, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating, ion grid, logic synthesizer; +0 Meat)
• Killer Festive Weapons-Assembly Elfbot (var. HP, var. XP; capacitor relay, carbon nanotube frame, Feynman gate, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating, ion grid, logic synthesizer; +0 Meat)
• Rudolphus of Crimborg (var. HP, var. XP; capacitor relay, carbon nanotube frame, Feynman gate, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating, ion grid, logic synthesizer; +0 Meat)

The Palindome

The Palindome was re-revamped on February 20, 2007. Much of the monsters were made tougher, and many of the adventures were changed. These were removed:

• Amen Enema (+var. Mus, -var. Mox)
• I Prefer Pi (lemon, lime, papaya)
• No, sir, away! A papaya war is on! (-var. Mus, -var. Mox, papaya)
• No, sir, away! A papaya war is on! (+var. Mus, +var. Mys, +var. Mox)
• Sun at Noon, Tan Us (+3 Sunburned effect)
• Sun at Noon, Tan Us (+var. Mox)

The first two were removed entirely, while the rest were replaced by new choice adventures.

Bounty Hunter Hunter

Amongst the many changes upon the arrival of NS-13 was the retirement of the old Bounty Hunter Hunter. Here are the bounties he used to offer (he would offer bounties on three randomly chosen items per day):

bar skin	10
bat wing	28
batgut	24
bloody clown pants	130
bugbear bungguard	70
filthy corduroys	80
filthy knitted dread sack	80
ghuol ears	32
gnoll teeth	24
goat beard	90
hippopotamus skin	196
lihc eye	38
Orcish cargo shorts	90
penguin skin	194
pirate pelvis	88
rat appendix	32
sabre teeth	70
spider web	6
yak skin	190
yeti fur	184