Subjunctive KoL: CrimboPresents

On the first Crimbo, 12/25/03, KoLers received a Crimbo pressie. This present, when opened, yielded a fruitcake and a piece of wrapping paper. The wrapping paper could be smithed into a Crimbo sword, Crimbo hat, or Crimbo pants; these items are now among the rarest items in the Kingdom.

On the second Crimbo, 12/25/04, KoLers received a Crimbo stocking. The stocking could be used to yield eggnog, a candy cane, a gingerbread bugbear, and a small Crimbo pressie. The small Crimbo pressie, in turn, yielded a bow and either a Hanukkimbo dreidl, imitation nice watch, or tiny plastic sword. These items are now also very valuable (especially the tiny plastic sword, which is the most useful of the three).

The third Crimbo, Crimbo 2005, worked somewhat differently. On December 1, citizens of Loathing awoke to find that Uncle Crimbo had placed an Advent Calendar in their campground. You could open a new panel on the calendar each day, yielding a new and exciting item. (However, if you forgot to open your panel for a day, the item would vanish and there would be no way to get it. Bummer.) The loot from the calendar is as follows:

• days 1-12: one of candy cane, eggnog, fruitcake, or gingerbread bugbear
• day 13: aspirin (noncombat item; +27-31 HP, removes Beaten Up, Poisoned, Confused, Embarrassed, Sleepy, and Wussiness effects, although not Apathy)
• days 14-16: fancy chocolate (see below for effects)
• day 17: one of candy cane, eggnog, fruitcake, or gingerbread bugbear
• days 18-20: one of bell-shaped Crimbo cookie, tree-shaped Crimbo cookie, or wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie (see below for effects)
• day 21: a tiny plastic Crimbo elf (accessory; +1 familiar weight)
• day 22: a tiny plastic sweet nutcracker (accessory; +1 familiar weight)
• day 23: a tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer (accessory; +1 adventure/day)
• day 24: a tiny plastic Crimbo wreath (accessory; regenerates 1-2 MP/adventure)
• day 25: a tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo (accessory; +1 all attributes)

Furthermore, on December 25, Uncle Crimbo placed a new item in people's inventory. The new item was one of the following:

• colored-light "necklace" (accessory; 35 mysticality required)
• can of fake snow (ranged weapon (1-handed); 100 power; 35 moxie required)
• tree skirt (pants; 100 power; 35 moxie required)

A few days before Crimbo 2005, a new area, CrimboTown also opened up for the holidays.

The fourth Crimbo, Crimbo 2006, worked similarly to Crimbo 2005, but with some changes. Since Crimbo coincided with Halloween in the KoL calendar, the two merged into a "Crimboween" event. The main part of the event was the exciting SaveUncleCrimbo quest. In addition, you got a Spooky Advent Calendar in your campground, which also yielded one item each day. (Unlike in 2005, the calendar would save items, so if you missed an item you could get two the next day.) The items were:

• days 1-13: one of ancient unspeakable fruitcake, candy stake, gingerbread horror, or spooky eggnog
• days 14-17: fancy but probably evil chocolate
• days 18-20: one of bat-shaped Crimboween cookie, skull-shaped Crimboween cookie, or tombstone-shaped Crimboween cookie
• day 21: a tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire (accessory; +1 familiar weight)
• day 22: a tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll (accessory; +1 familiar weight)
• day 23: a tiny plastic skeletal reindeer (accessory; +1 adventure/day)
• day 24: a tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram (accessory; regenerates 1-2 MP/adventure)
• day 25: a tiny plastic Scream Queen (accessory; +1 all attributes)

Furthermore, if you did not have a chocolate lump and had not used it, opening a window on the Spooky Advent Calendar would give you a chocolate lump, allowing you to begin the SaveUncleCrimbo quest.

On December 25, 2006, Uncle Crimbo gave a tropical Crimbo pressie to all Loathers in the Kingdom. The tropical Crimbo pressie, when opened, yielded tropical wrapping paper (which could be smithed into a Tropical Crimbo Hat, a Tropical Crimbo Sword, or Tropical Crimbo Shorts), and either a tropical paperweight, a deck of tropical cards, or a Tiki lighter. Those who successfully completed the SaveUncleCrimbo quest also received an additional gift: either a bobble-hip hula elf doll, a Crimbo ukelele, or a lucky Crimbo tiki necklace. As you might expect, the Tropical Crimbo Hat, Tropical Crimbo Sword, and Tropical Crimbo Shorts form their own outfit, the TropicalCrimboDuds.

Here's the effects of the various Crimbo food and drinks:

• eggnog = 5-10 A, 16-30 Mys, 16-30 Mox, 3 D
• fruitcake = 3-5 A, 15-19 Mus, 15-20 Mys, 15-19 Mox, 3 F
• candy cane = 1-5 A, 12-19 Mus, 10-15 Mys, 12-16 Mox, 1 F
• gingerbread bugbear = 1-5 A, 10-14 Mus, 11-19 Mys, 11-20 Mox, 1 F
• bell-shaped Crimbo cookie = 7-12 A, 10 Fury of the Bells effect (20 if you have a glass of goat's milk in inventory), 2 F
• tree-shaped Crimbo cookie = 6-12 A, 10 Yuletide Sappiness effect (20 if you have a glass of goat's milk in inventory), 2 F
• wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie = 6-11 A, 10 Wreathed in Merriment effect (20 if you have a glass of goat's milk in inventory), 2 F

• ancient unspeakable fruitcake = 3-6 A, 18-20 Mus, 18-20 Mys, 15-20 Mox, 3 F
• candy stake = 1-5 A, 10-20 Mus, 10-20 Mys, 10-19 Mox, 1 F
• gingerbread horror = 1-5 A, 10-19 Mus, 10-20 Mys, 10-20 Mox, 1 F
• spooky eggnog = 6-10 A, 19-27 Mys, 18-30 Mox, 3 D
• bat-shaped Crimboween cookie = 7-12 A, 10 Bells in the Batfry effect (20 if you have a glass of goat's milk in inventory), 2 F
• skull-shaped Crimboween cookie = 7-12 A, 10 Carol of the Bones effect (20 if you have a glass of goat's milk in inventory), 2 F
• tombstone-shaped Crimboween cookie = 6-12 A, 10 Crimbo Epiphany effect (20 if you have a glass of goat's milk in inventory), 2 F

The fancy chocolate is different. It's a candy, not a food, so it doesn't have fullness. When you eat the fancy chocolate, it gives you one of the following effects, depending on the (randomly-determined) flavor of the chocolate:

• aloe vera: recover all HP
• bittersweet dark chocolate: +5 Rainy Soul Miasma effect
• boiling root beer: -5 HP, recover all MP
• broken glass and nougat: -12-13 HP
• chocolate so dark it tastes like tears: +10 Gothy effect
• ham and pineapple: +21-23 Mus, +20-22 Mys, +21-22 Mox
• maple syrup and dirt: +10 Canadianity effect
• something you can't identify, no matter how hard you try: +10 Confused effect

Fancy but evil chocolate works the same way, although the effects are different:

• bits of skull: +20-25 Mus, +20-25 Mys, +20-24 Mox
• blood: recover all HP, +5 Bloody Hand effect
• dirt: +5 Spooky Breath effect
• gamma rays: +5 Incredibly Hulking effect
• oil of wormwood: +5 Dreams and Lights effect
• poisonous spiders: +5 Poisoned effect
• witch's brew: -5 HP, recover all MP

Fancy chocolate and fancy but evil chocolate will give you more adventures, but with diminishing returns each day. Note that the two operate on the same counter; that is, if you eat a fancy chocolate and then a fancy but evil chocolate, you'll get 5 adventures from the first and 3 from the second.

• 1st chocolate of the day: +5 A
• 2nd chocolate of the day: +3 A
• 3rd chocolate of the day: +1 A
• 4th and subsequent chocolate: 0 A