« London's Finest | Main | Hares know how to dance »


And now, ladies and gentleman, Insomnia Theatre proudly presents episode one of:


by ToastyKen

The Hare races down the trail! He dives under fallen trees! He leaps over pitfalls! He winds and he weaves along the obstacle course, leaving his competitors in the dust. The Hare is tired, but he knows the end of the gauntlet is near.

And so it is. The Hare comes upon a small clearing. Before him now is a hillside, covered with trees. "I've come all this way," said the Hare, "and now I have to climb this hill? Screw that!"

The Hare looks around the edge of the forest. "That looks like a shortcut. I bet I can stroll through there and find a ski lift or something."

He wanders through the woods for some time. "Hm. I don't seem to be getting anywhere," says the Hare. "I think I'll head that way. I bet that's the real shortcut."

More time passes. "I still don't know where I'm going," the Hare observes. He turns around in a full circle. There's no path, just dirt and trees. "I suppose the finish line is probably at the top of the hill, but climbing the hill is the easy way out. That's what that boring old Tortoise would do." The Hare grunts in contempt. "I could beat that Tortoise to the top of the mountain any day, but I don't need to do any climbing. A direct competition like that is beneath me. I'll find that ski lift yet!" The Hare picks another direction and saunters off.


One of the Hare's competitors arrives at the foot of the hill. It is...

Another Hare.

The Other Hare looks at the hill for but a moment before racing up as quickly as it can.


* * *

[Btw, I should acknowledge a late night conversation with Vijay for inspiring me to write this story.]

Comments (8)

Oh hey, ToastyKen, thanks for reporting on my adventures. I'm posting this comment from the hillside, thanks to the wifi coverage that the State Parks have installed. :)

I just want to let y'all know that I'm confident I'll be breaking multiple world records during this race. You just see!

I'm just not sure which way to go right now, though, so I decided to take a break and do some websurfing. Did you know that the guy who popularized the baby carrot died recently? So sad.

Say, any of you readers have any tips on which way I should go? And don't say up the hill. That way is for loser Tortoises.

Hello Hare. Up the hill seems better than following shortcuts that you aren't sure really exist. Then again, if you have fast internet connection, it could be worth it to you to look for these possible shortcuts on the park website or contact some friends who might know. I'm not sure if this will actually be faster than taking the long way, though. It might be more interesting than just running the whole route. I can't wait to hear about what you'll decide next!

Dear Hare,

What is waiting for you at the finish line? Is it more important for you to finish first in this race or to find the most creative way to cross the finish line? Please let me win! I want the free T-shirt!!!

The Other Hare

i'm totally confused by what you're writing here

i mean i can sense the undertones and admit that running up the hill to yet find another hill waiting for me isn't the most exciting thing to do.

maybe you should have in a later episode how the Hare somehow races up the hill with a friend only to have that friend die at the next one, expressing the utter futility of it all

cause i get all stressed out doing things that matter at certain hills

but then get pissed cause it seems the other hares are passing me by.

does this make sense?

not sure.

how much do i owe you for this ? do you take medicare?

Forget the ski lift. I wanna build a rocket.

Rocket pack + Hare + Red wine reduction = Delicious Lièvre

I think the Hare should win. The law of averages says it has to happen eventually.

I dont think the (first) Hare should be walking around looking for a ski lift. I think the Hare should be sitting at the bottom of the Hill (capitalized because it's obviously metaphorical) and the Other Hare should pass him by and say "dude ... are you going up?'. And the (first) Hare should reply "nah ... I think I'll throw a monkey party at the bottom instead. Now watch me as I wave my feet in a zoidberg-esque fashion".

Post a comment





This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 27, 2006.

The previous post in this blog was London's Finest.

The next post in this blog is Hares know how to dance.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

Powered by
Movable Type 3.3